Archive for the ‘Movies (J)’ Category

DAILY GRINDHOUSE BANNER

Daily Grindhouse would be pretty much my favorite website even if I weren’t writing for them, but since I am, here’s a collection of all my work so far.  It’s some of my very best stuff. Enjoy!

Alex Cross (2012) ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992) Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) BATMAN (1989) Charley Varrick (1973) Conquest (1983) Creature (2011) Dredd (2012) Drive Angry (2011) End of Watch (2012) Evil Dead (2013) Eyes Without A Face (1960)Fist Of Legend (1994) Get Carter (1971) GI Joe Retaliation (2013) The Great Silence (1968) Gremlins 2 - The New Batch (1990) The Grey (2012) Halloween (1978) Hannie Caulder (1971) HOUSE (HAUSU) (1977) Hit Man (1972) The Iceman (2013) The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (2009) The Invisible Man (1933) Iron-Man-3-2013 Island of Lost Souls (1932) Jackie Brown (1997) Killing Them Softly (2012) LADY TERMINATOR (1989) Lawless (2012) Liz & Dick (TV, 2012) Lockout (2012) The Lords of Salem (2013) The Man with the Iron Fists (2012) Maniac Cop (1988) Premium Rush (2012) Raw Meat (1972) Relentless (1989) Shaft (1971) Sheba, Baby (1975) Spring Breakers (2013) Super (2011) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) Tremors (1990) Vigilante (1983) WHICH WAY IS UP (1977)

Make Daily Grindhouse your daily destination for genre movie news, reviews, and interviews — there’s a ton of truly great content over there, beyond just the parts with my name on ‘em.

And follow me on Twitter for updates!: @jonnyabomb

Short and blunt:

My DREDD review. On Daily Grindhouse.

Get there.  ‘Like’ it.

Thank you for your cooperation.

@jonnyabomb

Judge Dredd by John McCrea

Judge Dredd by Steve Dillon

Judge Dredd by Brian Bolland

Another by Brian Bolland

Judge Dredd by Carlos Ezquerra

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This collection has been much-requested and a long time coming.  To get at the reviews, just click on the movie poster of your choice.  And be sure to bookmark this page, because it’s bound to get updated frequently!

         Age Of The Dragons (2011) Alex Cross (2012)          Assault On Precinct 13 (1976)       The Bay (2012)        Big Fan (2009)    Black Death (2010)          Brothers (2009)               Cloud Atlas (2012)   Conan The Barbarian (1982) Conquest (1983)    CREEP (2004)  

The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012)               Django Unchained (2012)           Evil Dead (2013)         Fist Of Legend (1994) Flight (2012)       Get Carter (1971)    gi_joe_retaliation_ver30 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (US, 2011).          The Grey (2012) Halloween (1978)       Hardware (1990)   The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)    Hit Man (1972)          The Iceman (2013)        THE INSIDER (1999)  The Invisible Man (1933)  Iron Man 3 (2013) Island Of Lost Souls (1933)        Killer Joe (2012) Killing Them Softly (2012)          LadyTerminator                Lincoln (2012)   The Lords of Salem (2013)      The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) Maniac Cop (1988)                           Peeples (2013)                  The Raid (2012)       Relentless (1989)    SALT (2010) Bill Hicks Sane Man (1989)   SCROOGED (1988)  Severance (2006) Shaft (1971)       Southern Comfort (1981)    Spring Breakers (2013)  THE SQUID &THE WHALE (2005)               The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)      The Tourist (2010)  THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (1976)      Triangle (2009)             Vigilante (1983)                X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)  

For constant news about updates, follow me on Twitter:  @jonnyabomb

And we’re back!  Ready for round two.  Inspired again by my friend-in-movies at Rupert Pupkin Speaks, I’m re-presenting and reshuffling my top fifty movies of all time.  “Reshuffling” sounds a little more extreme than what I’ve done here — most of the titles remain the same, and the order isn’t much different.  But there’s a fair amount of new blood, and I’ve updated the links to any movies I’ve written about at length (those are bolded in red.) 

This list is absolutely subject to change, so keep watching this space, but while you’re at it, don’t forget to keep watching the skies.

1. THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE UGLY (1966).

2. GHOSTBUSTERS (1984).

3. DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978).

4.  ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968).

5.  UNFORGIVEN (1992).

6.  KING KONG (1933).

7.  PREDATOR (1987).

8.  MANHUNTER (1986).

9.  BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986).

10.  MOTHER, JUGS & SPEED (1976).

11.  John Carpenter’s THE THING (1982).

12.  HEAT (1995).

13.  FREAKS (1932).

14. JAWS (1975).

15.  Berry Gordy’s THE LAST DRAGON (1985).

16.  THE WILD BUNCH (1969).

17.  SHAFT (1971).

18.  BEVERLY HILLS COP (1984).

19.  THE BIG GUNDOWN (1966).

20.  SEA OF LOVE (1989).

21. RAISING ARIZONA (1987).

22.  EVIL DEAD 2 (1987).

23.  OUT OF SIGHT (1998).

24.  THE INSIDER (1999).

25.  ALLIGATOR (1980).

26.  COLLATERAL (2004).

27.  THE GREAT SILENCE (1968).

28.  AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981).

29.  MY DARLING CLEMENTINE (1946).

30.  CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954).

31. PRIME CUT (1972).

32. WATERMELON MAN (1970).

33.  GROSSE POINTE BLANK (1997).

34.  25th HOUR (2002).

35.  COFFY (1973).

36. QUICK CHANGE (1990).

37.  MAGNOLIA (1999).

38.  HANNIE CAULDER (1971).

39. ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981).

40.  48 HRS. (1982).

41.  GOODFELLAS (1990).

42.  SHOGUN ASSASSIN (1980).

43.  PURPLE RAIN (1984).

44.  THE UNHOLY THREE (1925).

45.  TRUE GRIT (2010).

46.  THE PROFESSIONALS (1966).

47.  VIOLENT CITY aka THE FAMILY (1973).

48.  THE HIT (1984).

49.  EMPEROR OF THE NORTH POLE (1973).

50.  ATTACK THE BLOCK (2011).

50 1/2.  The five-minute skeleton swordfight in JASON & THE ARGONAUTS (1963).

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And that’s that…. for now.

For a little bit more all the time, find me on Twitter:  @jonnyabomb

Listen to this song while you read — it’s a rendition of the Jaws theme by the great film composer Lalo Schifrin (Enter The Dragon).  This instrumental allows me to imagine a roomful of great white sharks dancing to disco music, which is so fucking funny to me that I can’t even laugh at a level adequate to what it deserves.

Anyway, this is a collection of the Tweets I transmitted to the waking world at 3am this morning, when I couldn’t sleep and decided to test-drive my new Jaws Blu-Ray.  I had a bit of an ethical connundrum on my hands when Jaws, Shaft, and The Raid were all released on Blu-Ray on the same day and there was no way for me to justify purchasing all three on my budget, despite wanting them all almost equally.  Here’s how it all shook out:

 

BOUGHT.

 

NOT YET BOUGHT.

 

BOUGHT.

 

 

Guys, who was I kidding? I picked this up too, of course.

Putting this insomnia to good use and watching my new JAWS Blu-Ray. It’s beautiful.

 

I’ve seen this movie a hundred times, seen it projected several more. I know it by heart. So, a fact: This restoration is immaculate.

 

 

One of the greatest line readings in all of #JAWS: “A whaaaaaat?”

Unsung villain of #JAWS: Mr. Kintner. Where was that motherfucker at? Deadbeat dads are the worst.

“You’ve still got a hell of a fish out there. With a mouth this big.” Hooper way undersells it.

Most charming thing about Quint, I find, is how he refers to a 25-foot great white as a “bird.”

#JAWS ate Ben Gardner’s eyeball. That’s some mad aggro shit.

 

Anybody else ever look at Michael and Sean Brody in #JAWS and think; Those poor kids are gonna grow up to be in some BAD sequels?

If #JAWS were made ten years later, Hooper might have been played by Curtis Armstrong.

 

 

 

Odd how they head out to open water to go shark-hunting, despite all the attacks having happened near shore. #JAWS #suspensionofdisbelief

 

Talking writing technique now: Whoever came up with the barrels as a storytelling device was really, really smart.

A great and subtle character bit is when Hooper and Quint are comparing scars and Brody looks down, stops, then decides to keep quiet.

Also notice how Quint keeps a baseball bat on board the Orca — possible tribute to his friend Herbie Robinson, the baseball player?

Unfortunate foreshadowing of JAWS 4 — the shark does seem to roar a little bit.

“Show me the tank… Show me the tank… Blow up!” — something I’ve been known to chant when I’m with a lady.

Okay, good night.

More from me, day and night, on Twitter:  @jonnyabomb

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Related Posts:

My Top 50 Movies Of All Time.

Jaws (1975).

Zombie 2 (1979) — where a shark fights a zombie!

Soul Surfer (2011).

Dark Tide (2012).

13 Horror Movies Everyone Should See.

Top Ten Most Unforgettable Facts About Sharks.

My Blu-Ray Library.

Jaws was released on this date in 1975. 37 years ago! 37 years of great-white supremacy. 37 years, and not a single legitimate challenger to the throne. What’s the last watchable great-white-shark movie to be released into theaters and truly strike a chord with movie lovers? There really, really aren’t many to even consider.

Deep Blue Sea? Those are makos, my friend.

Open Water? Promising, but overrated, and too modest either way. (Too much water, not enough shark.)

The Reef? Pretty good, but also modest, and besides, few have seen it.

Shark Night 3D? Still not sure that movie actually happened.

Dark Tide? Be serious now.

Of course I’m discounting ten years of no-budget SyFy movies (I may watch them but I’ll not count them) and, more conspicuously, the three Jaws sequels, but I’m fairly sure that the point is already made:

Not great.

REALLY not great.

Just about as “not great” as it gets.

In addition to being the tremendous and influential box-office success that it was upon release in the summer of 1975, Jaws is an uncontested champion in its genre. In fact, the genre field is as limited as it is because of Jaws. Everybody and their inbred Mormon cousin thinks they can take a crack at a vampire movie or a zombie movie, but few dare to jump in the pool of great-white-shark movies. And the only reason is that almost everyone with half a brain cell knows that their attempt will be unfavorably compared. The original Jaws is just plain that good a movie.

When I listed Jaws as one of the 13 movies every horror fan should see, I brought up the question of whether Jaws really does count as a horror movie. A great white shark is a very unlikely threat, especially as it behaves in this movie, but it obviously isn’t a supernatural one. There are great white sharks out there — though unfortunately, less and less of them every day. There are great white sharks, and in exceedingly rare circumstances, they have been known to bite people. (I recommend this account, concerning the true events that partially inspired Jaws.) But as large as its imagery still looms in the public imagination, Jaws is heavy fiction. You’re in greater danger from your next-door neighbor than you ever are from a great white shark, a fact many horror movies happily exploit. Peter Benchley and Steven Spielberg have both admitted to profoundly ambiguous feelings over Jaws being a smear job against sharks.

But what I’m getting to is a point I made much more concisely in my list of thirteen — that point being, that some fears lock into us on a primal level. There’s not much need for humanity to fear great white sharks, but on a basic, molecular, evolutionary level, both literally and figuratively, we’re all afraid of what we can’t see. We’re all afraid of being eaten. We can feel superior to animals all we want to, but when you come right down to it, in our basest instincts — we’re them. We rarely admit it, but we know it. People are animals, and all animals are food for somebody. Jaws speaks directly to this fear, way more than pretty much any other big-name monster movie. King Kong and Godzilla, The Wolfman and The Creature From The Black Lagoon, The Predator and The Alien and those creepy cave fuckers from The Descent, all of them might have teeth to bare at you, but ain’t none of ‘em known to swallow a man whole. That, I argue, is why Jaws still remains at the top of the horror-movie food chain. It’s a 37-year-old movie so as effects and film stocks have changed it can’t help but have lost some of its potency, but it’s the rare 37-year-old movie that retains so much of that original impact.

So yes, Jaws, is a horror movie. Just think of all of its tremendous horror moments — that opening skinny-dipping attack (its exploitation of the vulnerability we feel when nude subtly drawing a line to Psycho); the ominously-dim scene where the two fishermen cheat death (“Take my word for it and don’t look back!“); the daytime death of Alex Kintner and how it corroborates Chief Brody’s every last fear; the William Castle jump-scare that is the discovery of Ben Gardner’s boat; that horrible, almost slow-motion moment in the estuary when we finally get to see those titular jaws, right as they’re closing around a man; the brilliant tonal shift that is Quint’s Indianapolis speech; and so on.

The genius of Jaws, and what director Steven Spielberg and his writers (including Carl Gottlieb, Howard Sackler, and John Milius) and composer (John Williams) and cinematographer (Bill Butler) did with Peter Benchley’s book, was not only that they managed to wring every last horror moment out of the killer-shark scenario, but also the way that they welded it onto the American nautical-adventure tradition that goes all the way back to Melville’s Moby Dick but also includes all of the swashbuckling pirate movies of the 1940s, with the unlikely Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss standing in for Errol Flynn. There are genuinely rousing moments in that final third of Jaws, when Robert Shaw is barking out orders from the bow of the Orca, that feel like the horror is at our backs and we’re chasing the big fish. These moments of the movie make Spielberg’s subsequent Indiana Jones films feel like a natural artistic progression (which they are). It’s the basis of Spielberg’s phenomenal career — that he can juggle genre so effectively even within a single movie. He’s modern cinema’s foremost utility player: He can find the horror moments in an action film, or a sci-fi, or even a historical drama, and he can balance all those with moments of comedy and pathos and big ideas and spectacle, and in the smooth transitions lies the key to why his movies work so well for so many people.

Jaws was a miracle moment for movies, where great writing and filmmaking (and perfect performances from Scheider and Shaw) all collide with a perfect premise, and together manages to brush up against the feel of myth. Even the cynics recognize it as a pivotal film in American culture. It’s a movie so mythic in our collective mindzones that even the behind-the-scenes stories remain endlessly fascinating to a legion of film fanatics — myself obviously included.

Here’s a short piece I once wrote about the real-life inspiration for Robert Shaw’s character Quint, a man named Frank Mundus: [DA-DUM!]

And here’s the super-fun article from Gothamist that reminded me I finally needed to say a few words to mark this occasion: [DA-DUM!]

Fish around for me on Twitter: @jonnyabomb

“Oh God, something’s rubbing against my leg!”

P.S. Assuming no one will notice that I posted this article on June 21st, not June 20th. If you read it on June 22nd or anytime after, it won’t matter, right? Reality is malleable. Death is but a door. Time is but a window. You are getting very sleepy…

If you’ve ever read my ravings about the Congolese neo-noir Viva Riva!, you know how excited I can get when I see a national cinema stretch its wings for the first time.  Juan Of The Dead is Cuba’s first horror movie, which of course is something politically and historically significant.  It also looks like a whole gallon of fun.   I’m guessing that there are nerds out there who’d rain on the parade by criticizing the cue this takes from the UK’s Shaun Of The Dead, but that doesn’t bother me at all and I bet a hundred bucks Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg would agree with me.

There’s plenty of room for another international take on the zombie genre, especially one with such enjoyable details as the harpoon gun, the nunchucks, and the fact that the heroes initially mistake the zombies for vampires and worse, Americans.

 

 

If you’re able to mobilize in time, Juan Of The Dead is closing out the Havana Film Festival tonight at the NY Director’s Guild Theater.  If not, stay tuned to the official site for updates.

Thanks to Screen Slate Daily for the heads-up on this great-looking film.  Please visit Screen Slate here and on Twitter.

And find me on Twitter!: @jonnyabomb

Full disclosure time.  I think a person’s home movie collection says plenty about their interests as a moviegoer.  Since I talk about movies all the time, I imagine this would be relevant evidence.  Here’s what is on my shelf at home so far…

    BattleRoyale   BeingJohnMalkovich         childrenofmen Citadel        Django djangokill DjangoUnchained doomsday Do The Right Thing Dr. Strangelove   Edwood             grandduelkeoma       TheImaginariumOfDoctorParnassus     Jackie Brown  KillerJoe      TheMaster Miami Connection (1987)                 raidredemption  reanimator       smashed  Smokin' Aces   ThereWillBeBlood TheyLive    universalsoldier       zodiac

Feel free to judge!

Find me on Twitter: @jonnyabomb

 
A good horror premise, whether it be for a scary movie or a monster movie, stems from a theme people can relate to. Frankenstein has to do with arrogance and the misuse of science.  With The Exorcist, it was the loss of faith. With The Evil Dead and a ton of similar movies, it’s about the primal fear of the woods. With Jaws, it was the primal fear of being eaten alive. With King Kong, it’s that chicks dig jerks. Godzilla was all about atomic anxiety. Halloween is about not feeling safe, even in the suburbs. With just about every zombie film, it’s got something to do with death. With just about every vampire film, it’s about bad sex. 
 
In Jennifer’s Body, the theme concerns high school friendships, and the way in which girls in particular can suddenly and cruelly turn on each other. This has happened to every girl I know, and it’s upsetting and weird and usually pointless. Girls can be best of friends one day, and the next there’s a drastic turn for the sadistic, with no explanation. Sometimes they come back; sometimes they stay evil. 
 
I meet more female horror fans as time goes on. They absolutely exist, and I hope that they eventually find this movie. This one’s for them.  It’s a clear indication that gutsy horror movies aren’t just made by men – this is a strong, distinctly feminine piece of work from director Karyn Kusama, screenwriter Diablo Cody, and stars Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Not that it’s just for girls – not by a long shot – but I imagine that girls would especially get a kick out of Jennifer’s Body.
 
Jennifer and Anita (“Needy”) are best friends from childhood who have remained close even if they’ve grown up differently. Needy has a nice-guy boyfriend (Johnny Simmons) but is otherwise insecure and mousy, while Jennifer is Megan Fox in a cheerleader outfit. Jennifer is the alpha-female even before she’s turned into a supernaturally powerful demon in a satanic virgin sacrifice gone horribly wrong. Jennifer starts to need to feast on the insides of high school boys, and ultimately no one but Needy can stop her.
 
You know a horror movie’s got something going for it when it has a secondary premise that’s clever enough to carry its own movie in an alternate universe. I loved the idea of the nice-guy rock band, headed by an appropriately arch Adam Brody, who turn out to be evil and abduct Jennifer to sacrifice her to the devil in return for fame and fortune.  The idea that a Matchbox 20 or a Maroon 5 or some other middle-of-the-road whiteboy band with a number in the title might behind the smiles be satanic and murderous creeps is just hilarious to me. It’s scary because you’re not sure it’s never happened.
 
The movie’s not perfect. For one thing, it’s very hard to believe that Low Shoulder (the band’s name) take a look at Jennifer and Needy and somehow are immediately convinced that the one played by Megan Fox is the virgin. Of course, that’s the conceit that the movie hangs upon – the fact that the band are mistaken is the reason why the demon is summoned. It’s just hard to swallow that they’d make such an obvious mistake in the first place. Also, the movie isn’t particularly scary. While director Kusama sets some amazing mood-establishing shots to begin the scenes, none of the scenes are exactly horrifying. There’s too much humor in Diablo Cody’s dialogue for that, although that’s not at all a bad thing. The most obvious point of comparison to Jennifer’s Body, when it comes to tone, is Buffy The Vampire Slayer, which puts it in pretty high company that it maybe doesn’t quite belong in – what I’m trying to say is that the movie is fun and funny, but it won’t keep anyone from a good night’s sleep.
 
The cast plays everything right, I think. The relationship between Needy and her boyfriend Chip is sweet and touching, to the point that when he’s put in Jennifer’s sights, you actually are worried for him and are rooting for Needy to save him – a nice inversion of the typical damsel-in-distress nonsense that every other action or horror movie falls back upon. The adults in the movie, though their roles are tiny, are cast well too, from Amy Sedaris as Needy’s mom, to the badass J.K. Simmons playing against type as a sensitive, curly-haired science teacher.
 
Front and center, though, is Megan Fox, the instant media megastar who is a flashpoint of heated debate for no great reason at all. I didn’t come at this movie as a Megan Fox fan – I’ve never been much moved to care one way or the other. The tattoos are a turn-off to me and she’s paler and skinner than I usually like to see in a woman. (You can’t help but revert to this kind of guy-talk when discussing Megan Fox, and I include it here because it’s part of the point of the movie.) What I think is unfair, though, is any criticism of her acting ability: Before now, all we’ve ever seen her in is Transformers. Listen up, dumbo – if all you ever saw of John Turturro was Transformers, you’d think John Turturro was a crappy actor too. 
 
Unlike many people in America right now, I’ve seen Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body and I’m here to tell you that Megan Fox CAN act. She’s perfectly cast as the girl who every guy wants badly but the occasional guy, like Chip, or myself, will admit to preferring the less flashy girl. She’s way more believable as a high school girl here than she was in Transformers, where she seemed more like a pornstar in a schoolgirl scenario.  Here, she plays entitled and pushy and still a little immature.  She has chemistry with Amanda Seyfried in the way that you believe their friendship and the way it falls apart. She’s adequately convincing as a man-eating monster, and just as convincing in her weaker, more vulnerable moments, as infrequent as they are. If you skipped Jennifer’s Body because you have developed some animosity towards Megan Fox, that’s not really fair. To yourself!
 
You’re missing a fun horror flick. 
 
 

Ryan Dunn died early this morning at the age of 34.  Dunn achieved his fame on the TV (later film) series  Jackass, where he brought a laconic charisma to some truly warped stunts and pranks.  He died in a car wreck, which, it should be clarified, happened in civilian life and was not connected in any way to Jackass

I’m a longtime casual-appreciator of the Jackass crew, and moreover, I’m a senstive, thoughtful human being, so to me there’s not much call for anything but well wishes to the families and friends affected by the loss.  Here’s a good example of the right way to eulogize a guy like this online, courtesy of the always-on-point AV Club.

Below I’ll repost the cluster of thoughts I wrote about the Jackass franchise last year, when the third movie came out.  It’s not particularly specific to Dunn, but it’s a pretty generous defense/valorization of his life’s work. 

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What is it about the Jackass franchise that inspires its more intellectual defenders to get all pretentious about it?

Take a minute to read the piece in the Atlantic about Jackass 3D. Or better yet, read my long-winded reply to a colleague who posted an editorial about his disdain for everything Jackass. Here it is, unabridged:

I actually strongly disagree, whatever that says about me, but no one could accuse you of not having your reasons thought through thoroughly.  I can’t defend Jackass 3D because I haven’t seen it yet, but I frankly love the first two movies, and the show.  I love the weird, almost surreal transitions between the sketches, I love the anarchy of it all, and I happily admit that I find most of the stunts to be funny as hell.  (A lot of the Bam stuff gets kind of douche-y.)  

I definitely think that it helps to have the knowledge that no one was seriously injured during filming — I think I’d feel very differently about Jackass if something permanent were to happen to any of the guys.  I like the fact that Knoxville and Tremaine (and obviously Spike Jonze) could do plenty of things that would be considered “smarter” — but instead they insist on topping previous heights of stupidity.  There’s something pointedly transgressive about that, in my opinion.  But the cinematic  talent they have is still on display in the Jackass franchise.  For example: The musical number that closes Jackass 2 is pure brilliance to me — it’s all of the old-school choreography and composition of musical films, enlisted for the most idiotic ends.

I’m interested in your John Waters comparison/contrast.  I need to think about it some more, but I obviously don’t think I would come to the same conclusion.  Besides, Waters has endorsed Knoxville & co. as his spiritual descendents in interviews I’ve read (and he cast Knoxville in one of his more recent movies.)

I’m sorry that you don’t enjoy Jackass and I wouldn’t think of recommending that you give it another chance, but I can at least say with absolute conviction that the Jackass franchise is far from the worst in film history.  But that’s a much longer conversation (that I would totally enjoy, honestly!).

For the record, the franchise I had in mind during that last sentence was the Leprechaun franchise, although arguments could be made for the Basketcase movies or the two-film series of Look Who’s Talking, Mannequin, or Teen Wolf (strictly on the basis of Teen Wolf Too).

Anyway.

There are actually two reasons why smart people (or wannabe smart people, like me) get pretentious over Jackass. The first is obvious: American society, even now, is still puritanical enough that we feel the need to justify or rationalize our interest in stuff that, unless we’re total pricks, we all laugh about behind closed doors. You can’t go writing in the Atlantic about how funny Jackass is, unless you strain to provide a socioeconomic or psychological or cultural context – otherwise you’re going to be bounced out of that job with a quickness. Farts are always funny but try explaining that to your editors at The New Yorker. Serious people aren’t usually allowed to be silly at the same time.

The other reason is that Jackass, at its best, really does warrant the consideration. It’s really funny. It’s way better than its detractors argue and even better than most of its fans give it credit for being. Simple proof: None of the imitators come close. There’s a demented wit to the majority of the pranks and stunts in the Jackass films, i.e. the Rube Goldberg ridiculousness of the Duck Shoot sequence in Jackass 3D, where a duck-costumed Ryan Dunn is bounced a hundred feet up in the air and shot at with paintguns by his buddies in a boat nearby. Is the funniest part of it that the stunt doesn’t exactly work as planned? Is it funny because on the second take, it does? Is it funny because Dunn is wearing a duck bill over his beard? And who comes up with something like that in the first place? If you can’t admit that it’s inspired at the very least, you may not be all that fun of a person.

Jackass also really does carry a direct link to the oldest cinematic traditions. For one thing, it’s like an old-school circus sideshow, with Johnny Knoxville serving as the charismatic, demented ringmaster and all of the other guys serving classic sideshow freak functions. You have Steve-O, the raspy-voiced masochist who offers up his body for torturous entertainment – Steve-O has a great story arc in the course of the series because he’s sober by the third film and is now reluctant to participate. (By the time the Poo Cocktail Supreme rolls around, Steve is visibly miserable.) You have Chris “Party-Boy” Pontius, the joyful nudist who throws himself without hesitation into the path of unfriendly beasts (Pontius has a classic encounter with a scorpion in Jackass 3D).  You have Bam Margera, the skateboarder who may be a douchebag but is obviously talented and has a fear of snakes like no one since Indiana Jones – Bam’s rotund father Phil is apparently now an official member of the Jackass cast, which I was glad to see. (Gotta love a guy who runs off to take a shit while his wife is being terrorized by a man in a gorilla suit. Long story.) You have a remarkably agile little person (Wee Man) who is always treated as an equal, if not a superior – Wee Man is obviously sharper than many of the other guys – and his frequent co-star, the unconventionally obese Preston Lacy (who is hilariously often mis-billed as Preston Gacy). I like Preston because he looks like the great character actor Oliver Platt but has a higher voice than you’d expect a guy his size to have. Finally, you’ve got the disturbing duo of Dave England, who can crap on command, and Danger Ehren, who seems borderline mentally-challenged and joyously loses teeth at a rate of what seems like at least one per film. (The Lamborghini Tooth Pull in Jackass 3D is the first time I ever completely covered my eyes during a Jackass sketch. They finally outdid themselves!)

Besides the carnival connection, Jackass carries on the spirit of the classic screen comedians, such as Buster Keaton (whose physical stunts are frequently evoked, if not name-checked), Harold Lloyd, The Three Stooges, John Belushi, and the Marx Brothers. The key to Jackass is maybe in that last point of reference. The Marx Brothers, more than anything else, brought a sense of anything-goes anarchy into cinema, and to me, that’s what Jackass represents in the year 2010. The Jackass crew is the closest thing we have today to true anarchy in movies. It’s punk. It’s anti-authoritarian. It’s pretty damn necessary, if you ask me.

When we’re a country at war and the only thing people want to talk about is the curiously star-free Dancing With The Stars, things have gotten scarily vapid. Sarah Palin, a woman who let’s try to remember, quit her position in government, is somehow still considered a viable future political candidate, against all logic and evidence to the contrary – just because she somehow has managed to master our Facebook-driven culture of celebrity. Idiocy is rewarded because it seems familiar. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to feel like my country’s leaders are smarter than me, not dumber. If you’re going to be dumb, you shouldn’t be in politics, or talking about important issues anywhere; you should be walking into a high-five from a gigantic spring-loaded hand.  What I love so much about Jackass, and Jackass 3D is no exception, is that it’s all done in such good cheer. These guys know their place and they enjoy it. 

I don’t actually care about politics, regardless of what you think of the previous paragraph. Republican, Democrat, whatever; all of them just talk too damn much for my tastes. What I don’t like, what can get me to speak up, is ignorance and stupidity, and worse, people taking pride in their stupidity and wrongheadedness, and thinking it makes them better than anyone else. I see that all over the place. I hate it.  If Jackass doesn’t exactly hold a mirror up to this ridiculous sociopolitical climate, it certainly outdoes it, and in outdoing it, it underlines the point. 

Jackass literally takes a shit on a society that wastes our valuable time with middle-of-the-road irrelevance and proud ignorance. Why pretend to be polite to a society that doesn’t bother to act with much propriety?  If we don’t strive for excellence, but instead settle for the subpar, we deserve to be served a big ol’ shit sandwich, fresh and warm out from Dave England’s butthole. What I love about the Jackass guys is that they have managed to push their stupidity into the stratosphere. They actually attain excellence with their stupidity. No one is stupider than they are (which makes me suspect they’re actually pretty smart). But they’re not prideful about it. They seem pretty humble to me. They’d rather have fun than give anyone else a hard time. They’re egalitarians. I can respect that. Stupid times call for stupid screen heroes. Jackass 3D is kinda heroic.