Happy Thoughts: My May 2012 @WarnerArchive Order.

    At the last minute, I hopped on this limited-time-only sale from the great Warner Archive service, which makes older movies available to order.  It’s a great, fun way to catch up on (or discover) titles which fall outside of the quote-unquote canon.  I’ve got a growing stack of Warner Archive titles, and that [...]

Special Report: What Is INSEPARABLE?

While I was compiling my most recent Unfortunate Movie Posters column, I spotted something intriguingly weird.  Let’s take a look at the posters for a movie called Inseparable.  This movie was made in China and released there on May 4th.  There is as yet no American release date.  That’s not the odd part. Okay, so it’s a [...]

COMBO PACK! April/May 2012′s Most Unfortunate Movie Posters.

Due to some major real-world complications I couldn’t get this column (or much else) together in April, but that’s the bad news.  The good news is that, as always, I’ve been steadily amassing grist for the mill, which means I now have twice as many dumb posters as usual to share with you this time. If you’re new [...]

March 2012′s Most Unfortunate Movie Posters.

And now it’s time again for that time, again.  Or something. This is the part where I ponder the no-doubt-expensive advertising campaigns of major motion pictures, mercilessly critiquing them from my cozy perch in my twenty-acre mansion.  Or my mom’s basement.  Or wherever you’d prefer to imagine I do these pieces. Movie posters can be an art unto [...]

February 2012′s Most Unfortunate Movie Posters.

We only get a February 29th once every four years, but we get a ton of movie posters every single month.  Hope everyone had a fine Leap Day yesterday.  Mine was great, because I had a whole extra day to collect all the questionable movie posters I’m about to share with you.  Decided to go with a Van Halen theme for this month’s [...]

The First Most Unfortunate Movie Posters Of 2012.

Lest anyone think that we’re in the clear in 2012 and all the movie posters everywhere would be excellent from now on, this column continues to exist to bring your hopes down to earth, while also bringing you back up with the strength of laughter.  Forgot how this works?  Here’s how we did it at [...]

The Movies Of 2011 / The Porn Of 2012.

With the news, reported upon by the New York Times, no less, that 2012 will bring us an X-rated Bridesmaids parody, let’s just cut out the middle man and list up the other movie titles from 2011 that are ripest for the porno picking.  These titles may be blatantly obvious, a little intentional even, or else they’re easy enough [...]

September’s Most Unfortunate Movie Posters.

Welcome to the Gwyneth Paltrow memorial edition of the monthly Most Unfortunate Movie Posters column.  Here are the previous editions.  Well, here. And here. And here. And lastly but not lastly, here. As usual, what happens here is that I show a bunch of posters for recent or upcoming movies, and then I crap all [...]

August’s Most Unfortunate Movie Posters.

Here’s yet another batch of ill-fitting movie posters and my snug little commentary.  (I said “snug”, not ”smug.” Because of the “ill-fitting”? Aw, forget it.)  Anyway, let’s get into this thing.  It’s early in the month yet, so if August sees more posters worth adding, I’ll add them.  Keep an eye on this page from time to time. And [...]

July’s Most Unfortunate Movie Posters.

Oh, it’s gone monthly now… __________________________ Great poster. Can’t wait for the movie.  But take a step back… This also resembles what you’d see if you took a blacklight to a comic book geek’s bedsheets. (Myself not necessarily excluded.) __________________________ It’s weird that a Robert Redford movie with a cast this good is flying under the [...]