It’s The Garden Of Mullets!

Posted: June 25, 2013 in Mullets
  BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986)  THE LOST BOYS (1987)  MacGRUBER (2010)
This right here is a repository for my collection of street-mullet-sightings. I started posting them over on Facebook and people seem to enjoy it, so maybe the world at large will too.
Now:  You might be saying to yourself, “Hey! Wasn’t it the popular joke to laugh ironically at mullets almost ten years ago? Shouldn’t that joke be way over by now?” And you’d be right, but that’s exactly the point.  Nearly ten years after mullets were loudly and publicly ridiculed, they continue to be worn proudly.  In fact:  In the past year alone, I personally have seen more mullets than I’ve ever seen in my life.  The following gallery salutes these bravely unironic hairdo pioneers.
[NOTE: I have done my best to obscure any identifying facial features, but if you notice your mullet in this gallery and would prefer it to be removed, please contact me and I will oblige. We’re not gathered here to shame our hair-heroes.]
Dressed for success: The jeans-jacket / mullet combo!

Dressed for success: The jeans-jacket / mullet combo!

The "Carl's Jr.®"

The “Carl’s Jr.®”

Truly stupendous mullet, but tough to see in this snapshot -- this critter was a quick one.

Truly stupendous mullet, but tough to see in this snapshot — this critter was a quick one.

Shopping For Appliances While Be-Mulleted.

Shopping For Appliances While Be-Mulleted.

HALL-OF-FAMER: The Jedi Mullet.

HALL-OF-FAMER: The Jedi Mullet.

Mullets In The Mist.

Mullets In The Mist.

Isn't a mullet, but the bright-orange lady hi-top fade deserves its own accolades.

Isn’t a mullet, but the bright-orange lady hi-top fade deserves its own accolades.

The "Not-Quite."

The “Not-Quite.”
The "Stumpy."

The “Stumpy.”

The "Honky Predator."

The “Honky Predator.”

Is it... Could it be... [*reverent tones*] Kenny Powers...?

Is it… Could it be… [*reverent tones*] Kenny Powers…?

Some days you wear the mullet, some days the mullet wears you.

Some days you wear the mullet, some days the mullet wears you.

The "Connected." (Risked life & limb to bring you this picture.)

The “Connected.” (Risked life & limb to bring you this picture.)

The Great Mullet Chase! (Bugger wouldn't stay still.)

The Great Mullet Chase! (Bugger wouldn’t stay still.)
The "Drinks-Alone." (This photograph was taken at 12 noon on a cloudless summer afternoon.)

The “Drinks-Alone.” (This photograph was taken at 12 noon on a cloudless summer afternoon.)

The "Drive-By."

The “Drive-By.”

This is a half-motorcycle/half-car/all-lawnmower, with a mulleted driver. It will be a difficult sight for this world to top.

This is a half-motorcycle/half-car/all-lawnmower, with a mulleted driver. It will be a difficult sight for this world to top.

For a change: Here's a hi-top-fade-mohawk combo platter.

For a change: Here’s a hi-top-fade-mohawk combo platter.

The ever-elusive Mohawk mullet.

The ever-elusive Mohawk mullet.

The "Magnetic North."

The “Magnetic North.”

HALL-OF-FAMER: Gabe Cash.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Gabe Cash.

Quick sketch of a long flowing mullet seen last night at the gas station. It was too dark for photography, but it deserved a tribute.

Quick sketch of a long flowing mullet seen last night at the gas station. It was too dark for photography, but it deserved a tribute.

Got a bad angle on this one.

Got a bad angle on this one.

Going to Hell for this one.

Going to Hell for this one.

The "Billy Curtis."

The “Billy Curtis.”

The "OMG."

The “OMG.”

The "Ron Swanson."

HALL-OF-FAMER: A.C. Slater.

HALL-OF-FAMER: A.C. Slater.

Likes:  Train rides,  mullets,  Tiny Solitaire.  Dislikes:  Dorks peering over shoulder in order to photograph said mullet.

Likes:
Train rides,
mullets,
Tiny Solitaire.
Dislikes:
Dorks peering over shoulder in order to photograph said mullet.

The "Hasidic Jason Statham."

The “Hasidic Jason Statham.”

I've worked with better.

I’ve worked with better.

For example, this one.

For example, this one.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Bono.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Bono.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Larry Mullet Jr.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Larry Mullet Jr.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Los Tigres Del Norte. (Second from left.)

HALL-OF-FAMER: Los Tigres Del Norte. (Second from left.)

The "Ticket Stub."

The “Ticket Stub.”

If I chased girls with the determination that I chased this mullet, I'd be on my third marriage by now. (Note that it's not even that great a mullet.)

If I chased girls with the determination that I chased this mullet, I’d be on my third marriage by now. (Note that it’s not even that great a mullet.)

The "Tragedy."

The “Tragedy.”

The "One Who Finally Caught Me."

The “One Who Finally Caught Me.”

The "Skylight."

The “Skylight.”

The "Trying To Hide Behind A Redhead."

The “Trying To Hide Behind A Redhead.”

The "Charles-In-Charge-era Scott Baio."

The “Charles-In-Charge-era Scott Baio.”

HALL-OF-FAMER: Charles-In-Charge-era Scott Baio.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Charles-In-Charge-era Scott Baio.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Charles-In-Charge-era Willie Aames.

HALL-OF-FAMER: Charles-In-Charge-era Willie Aames.

The "Nightwing Action Figure."

The “Nightwing Action Figure.”

READER SUBMISSION!: From Paris, with love.

READER SUBMISSION!: From Paris, with love.

Reggie from Archie Comics.

Reggie from Archie Comics.

Literally gasped when this mullet reared up in the wild. This was the only photo I could safely get. Squint for it.

Literally gasped when this mullet reared up in the wild. This was the only photo I could safely get. Squint for it.

Looks like tied shoelaces.

Looks like tied shoelaces.

Not who you might think it is. Still a problem.

Not who you might think it is. Still a problem.

Looks like a nice guy. Not meaning to make fun. But that's just the way the cookie crumbles, just the way the bread is buttered, just the way the mullet's combed.

Looks like a nice guy. Not meaning to make fun. But that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, just the way the bread is buttered, just the way the mullet’s combed.

Oh shit...

Oh shit…

 

Lead singer of "Imagine Dragons" which is a hugely popular music group right now despite me having absolutely no idea of that fact until this moment. Are they big enough to bring the mullet back, is all I care about.

Lead singer of “Imagine Dragons” which is a hugely popular music group right now despite me having absolutely no idea of that fact until this moment. Are they big enough to bring the mullet back, is all I care about.

The adventure continues!  Send your own contributions to me here or on Twitter:

@jonnyabomb

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