Full Disclosure: ALL THE MOVIES RELEASED IN 2013, AS SEEN BY ME.

Posted: August 6, 2013 in Lists, Movies

Trance (2013)

A lot of my film-fanatic friends are on a great site called Letterboxd, which allows you to catalogue all of the movies you’ve seen to date in order of when you’ve seen them.  It’s like a daily calendar for movies.  When you see as many movies as we do, it’s a valuable service.

In the past couple years, as I’ve been writing about movies more and more, I also like to put up a gallery here on Demon’s Resume to chart everything I saw that year.

Here’s the 2011 edition.

Here’s the 2012 edition.

I took to doing this for a couple reasons:  For one thing it’s fun to look at all the poster art, beautiful and bad.  For another, it seems like the right thing to do, since I as much as anyone can lapse into an authoritative tone at times and it’s only fair to reveal what I’ve seen and what I haven’t.  I can’t rightly tell you what “the best movies of 2013” are if I haven’t seen every movie released in 2013, right?  I can only tell you which movies I appreciated the most out of the ones I did get to see.

For the first time, I am putting this out long before the end of the year. I will update it periodically, all the way to December, so if you want you can see what movies I’ve been watching throughout the year.  I’ll also try to add little mini-reviews of each one as I go along.

Let’s get going!

_________________

Promised Land (2012)

PROMISED LAND.

I wrote about this movie at length for my friend’s site. Click here!

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D.

And I wrote about this one for Daily Grindhouse. Click here!

Gangster Squad (2013)

GANGSTER SQUAD.

Not enough Nolte. And can anyone explain why Ryan Gosling is doing a pitch-perfect Steve Guttenberg impression throughout the entire thing?

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS.

Not remotely as bad as some people want you to think, but not particularly great.  It does meet my minimum requirement for Gemma Arterton.  (There is no maximum amount.)  Also, I noticed that “movies” are a synonym for “something really terrible happens to Peter Stormare.” Not to be confused with the standard Sean-Bean-and-Danny-Trejo-always-die trope.  In this one, if memory serves, a monster steps on Peter Stormare’s head. There, saved you the trouble.

Broken City (2013)

BROKEN CITY.

Drug War (2013)

DRUG WAR.

One of the best movies of the year, by any standard.

Mama (2013)

MAMA.

The Last Stand (2013)

THE LAST STAND.

John Dies at the End (2013)

JOHN DIES AT THE END.

Parker (2013)

Model Jason Statham in the new FaceSuit by J.Lo.

PARKER.

Bullet to the Head (2013)

BULLET TO THE HEAD.

Warm Bodies (2013)

WARM BODIES.

A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III (2013)

A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III.

Side Effects (2013)

SIDE EFFECTS.

Snitch (2013)

SNITCH.

A Talking Cat (2013)

A TALKING CAT!?!

To the Wonder (2013)

TO THE WONDER.

Stoker (2013)

STOKER.

The Place Beyond the Pines (2013)

THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES.

Dead Man Down (2013)

DEAD MAN DOWN.

Oz The Great and Powerful (2013)

OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL.

Spring Breakers (2013)

SPRING BREAKERS.

It’s either trash or art or both or neither.  I’m still not entirely decided.  That automatically makes SPRING BREAKERS more interesting than just about any other movie this year.  My review on Daily Grindhouse is here.

The Call (2013)

THE CALL.

Slight but solid. The ending was very SLIVER.

Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION.

Trance (2013)

TRANCE.

Evil Dead (2013)

EVIL DEAD.

When is a well-made movie entirely useless?  When it lacks a soul or a reason for being.  This one prompted a rant involving feminism which you may be interested to read. It’s on Daily Grindhouse, here.

Byzantium (2013)

BYZANTIUM.

Upstream Color (2013)

UPSTREAM COLOR.

42 (2013)

42.

The Lords of Salem (2013)

THE LORDS OF SALEM.

This is another movie I wanted to like a lot more than I was able to, but I thought I at least wrote some interesting stuff on it.  Read it on Daily Grindhouse.

Iron Man 3 (2013)

IRON MAN 3.

Twenty years ago, this would have been my favorite movie.  But that’s not how time works.  Read my review on Daily Grindhouse.

The Numbers Station (2013)

THE NUMBERS STATION.

More evidence that John Cusack is the new Nicolas Cage.  Still an interesting actor, but one who ends up in as many terrible movies as worthwhile ones.  This movie is in between — it’s just diverting enough, but kind of dull and unmemorable.

Mud (2013)

MUD.

Wonderful.  I ride with Jeff Nichols.

Pain & Gain (2013)

PAIN & GAIN.

Silly and over-long, like my privates.  But I’d take this over TRANSFORMERS every day of the month.  If only Michael Bay would make more weird freakazoid movies like this one, instead of unwatchably bombastic money-guzzlers.

PAWN (2013)

PAWN.

In the end, all that will remain is Michael Chiklis’ inexplicable British accent.

The Iceman (2013)

THE ICEMAN.

I called this movie “a J-horror GOODFELLAS,” combining Asian-flavored style with decade-spanning true crime flavor.  The Michael Shannon lead performance makes it mandatory.  My review is on Daily Grindhouse.

Peeples (2013)

PEEPLES.

In retrospect I may have written more in my review here than this particular movie warrants.  I wrote it in reaction to all the whining I see every day on the internet about racism and chauvinism — in theory, I agree, but unlike a lot of people, when something bothers me, I try to take action.  That’s half the reason I paid to see this movie; the other half is my love for the primary cast.  They’re always good; the movie less so.

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

FAST & FURIOUS 6.

I liked this movie as I like this franchise: Enough to see them all, not as much as many people in my peer group. It’s the franchise which may be more fun to talk about than to watch (and the movies are frequently very fun to watch).  Here’s my review of the one before it; maybe I’ll get around to talking more about this newest one.

Anna Nicole (TV Movie 2013)

ANNA NICOLE.

Behind the Candelabra (tv)

BEHIND THE CANDELABRA.

Assault on Wall Street (2013)

ASSAULT ON WALL STREET.

Hammer of the Gods (2013)

HAMMER OF THE GODS.

The Great Gatsby (2013)

THE GREAT GATSBY.

The Kings of Summer (2013)

THE KINGS OF SUMMER.

Évocateur The Morton Downey Jr. Movie (2013)

ÉVOCATEUR: THE MORTON DOWNEY JR. MOVIE.

Blackfish (2013)

BLACKFISH.

Syrup (2013)

SYRUP.

This Is the End (2013)

THIS IS THE END.

Maybe the funniest movie of the year.  I loved it.  Review is on Daily Grindhouse.  Click here!

Man of Steel (2013)

MAN OF STEEL.

As awful as it is awesome, MAN OF STEEL is, thematically at least, a disaster.  Its success bodes poorly for the next few years of superhero films.  On Daily Grindhouse, I explained my rationale at length.

The Bling Ring (2013)

THE BLING RING.

Maniac (2012)

MANIAC.

World War Z (2013)

WORLD WAR Z.

Fruitvale Station (2013)

FRUITVALE STATION.

Zombie Hunter (2013)

ZOMBIE HUNTER.

The Frozen Ground (2013)

THE FROZEN GROUND.

Only God Forgives (2013)

ONLY GOD FORGIVES.

I loved it.  Many hated it.  Appears there’s no middle ground on this one.  This is my kind of offbeat.  I understand why the straights don’t get it.  I also predict a lot of people will be reversing their stance in the years to come.

Killing Season (2013)

KILLING SEASON.

The Conjuring (2013)

THE CONJURING.

Pawn Shop Chronicles (2013)

PAWN SHOP CHRONICLES.

Anthony-Petrie-Sharknado

SHARKNADO.

Pacific Rim (2013)

PACIFIC RIM.

More than any movie this year, I wanted to love this one.  Turns out I only loved it a little bit.  Like the bare minimum of love.  Like a great-uncle you only met once or twice.  A lot of the necessary ingredients are present to make this movie as kickass as some people still argue it is — I’d argue that there’s no way a movie with a protagonist this leaden and with fight scenes so murky can be anywhere near as great as it ought to be.  Here’s my review on Daily Grindhouse.

A Band Called Death (2013)

A BAND CALLED DEATH.

The Act of Killing (2012)

THE ACT OF KILLING.

2 Guns (2013)

TWO GUNS.

Europa Report (2013)

EUROPA REPORT.

elysium

ELYSIUM.

WE'RE THE MILLERS

WE’RE THE MILLERS.

In a World... (2013)

IN A WORLD…

The Butler (2013)

THE BUTLER.

Cheap Thrills (2013)

CHEAP THRILLS.

The Spectacular Now (2013)

THE SPECTACULAR NOW. 

The World's End Movie Poster

THE WORLD’S END.

You're Next Movie Poster

YOU’RE NEXT.

Riddick Movie Poster

RIDDICK.

Room 237 (2012)

ROOM 237.

Bounty Killer (2013)

BOUNTY KILLER.

Enough Said (2013)

ENOUGH SAID.

Don Jon (2013).

DON JON.

BARBIE

BARBIE: MARIPOSA & THE FAIRY PRINCESS.

Gravity (2013)

GRAVITY.

GALLOWWALKERS (2013)

GALLOWWALKERS.

Captain Phillips (2013)

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS.

Frankenstein's Army (2013)

FRANKENSTEIN’S ARMY.

Java Heat (2013)

JAVA HEAT.

COOPER & HEMINGWAY

COOPER & HEMINGWAY: THE TRUE GEN.

Bad Grandpa (2013)

BAD GRANDPA.

Curse of Chucky (2013)

CURSE OF CHUCKY.

The Best Man Holiday (2013)

THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY.

JOURNEY TO THE WEST

JOURNEY TO THE WEST: CONQUERING THE DEMONS.

Why Don't You Play In Hell

WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL?

The Contractor (2013)

THE CONTRACTOR.

Ooof.  Don’t.   But I did, and you can read about it.  Another Daily Grindhouse classic.

Jug Face (2013)

JUG FACE.

Weird little horror-esque backwoods nightmare.  I watched it twice in a weekend, because it’s kind of original.  Probably one of the best horror movies of the year, if that’s even the genre it fits inside.

Homefront (2013)

HOMEFRONT.

If you tell me James Franco is taking on Jason Statham, I’m going to want a much crazier movie than this flick is prepared to offer.

Paradise Movie Poster

PARADISE.

 

Prince Avalanche Movie Poster

PRINCE AVALANCE.

All Is Bright Movie Poster ALL IS BRIGHT.

The To Do List Movie Poster

THE TO DO LIST.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2008)

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE.

Berberian Sound Studio (2012)

BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO.

Man of Tai Chi (2013)

MAN OF TAI CHI.

American Hustle (2013)

AMERICAN HUSTLE. 

The Canyons (2013)

THE CANYONS.

DEAD IN TOMBSTONE (2013)

DEAD IN TOMBSTONE.

Blood Of Redemption (2013)

BLOOD OF REDEMPTION. 

Anchorman 2 (2013)

ANCHORMAN II: THE LEGEND CONTINUES.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET.

____________________

And now I’m going to go celebrate this heroic accomplishment by watching some movies.

Follow me on Twitter for near-constant updates:  @jonnyabomb

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