Archive for the ‘Movies (Number Titles)’ Category

 

 

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

 

 

I didn’t expect to like this movie, not even a little bit.  I figured, by all appearances, that it was going to be cutesy.  Normally, I’m revolted by cutesy.

Horrible.

Horrible.

 

Guess what?  (500) DAYS OF SUMMER was totally cutesy, and still somehow I dug it.  There is an aspect of recognition at work – I can relate to some of the experiences enacted here, and the locations are very familiar to me.  There is also an ace pair of lead performances from Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, and some nice supporting comic balance from the underrated Geoffrey Arend.

 

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Most of all, the moral of this story (which, as is promised early on, is about a boy and a girl but is not a love story) is one I needed to hear at the time I heard it.  It’s something I’ve understood and internalized over the last few years but it was nice to hear it said.  You can have your heart broken – more than once! – but you can not allow your broken heart to turn black.  It doesn’t do you any good to be embittered towards a girl who doesn’t love you (back/anymore/at all) – feel grateful for the experience and be always ready for the next one, which can easily be right around the corner.  Even if it comes complete with a cutesy name.

 

MINKA

@jonnyabomb

DAILY GRINDHOUSE BANNER

Daily Grindhouse would be pretty much my favorite website even if I weren’t writing for them, but since I am, here’s a collection of all my work so far.  It’s some of my very best stuff. Enjoy!

25TH HOUR (2002) 48 HRS. (1982) 52 PICK-UP (1986) 88  THE ACT OF KILLING (2013) ACT OF VIOLENCE (1948) Alex Cross (2012) ALIEN (1979) ALIEN ZONE (1978) ALPHABET CITY (1984) american sniper  AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981) ANACONDA (1997) ANTS (1977) The Apple (1980) ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992) ARTISTS & MODELS (1955) Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) BADLANDS (1973) BAIT (2012) A Band Called Death (2013) BASKET CASE (1982)  BATMAN (1989) BATTLE ROYALE (2000) The Baytown Outlaws (2013). Beetlejuice (1988) BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO (2013) BEST WORST MOVIE (2009)The Big Lebowski (1998) Big Trouble In Little China (1986) BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974) BLACK DEATH (2011) THE BLOB (1988) BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935) The Brides Of Dracula (1960) brothers-2009 BUNNY LAKE IS MISSING (1965) untitled CARRIE (1976) CB4 THE MOVIE (1993) CEMETERY MAN (1994) Charley Varrick (1973) CHEAP THRILLS (2013) CHOPPING MALL (1986) class-of-1984-poster The Colony (2013) COMPLIANCE (2012) CON AIR (1997) Conquest (1983) THE CONTRACTOR (2013) Creature (2011) CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954) CRIME WAVE (1954) THE CROW (1994) DARKMAN (1990) DEAD & BURIED (1981) DEADLY FRIEND (1986) deranged-1974-movie-review-jpeg-35312 THE DESCENT (2005) THE DEVIL’S EXPRESS (1976) dillinger-1973 DIRTY HARRY (1971) Django (1966) Django Unchained (2012).  DOG SOLDIERSDOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944) DRACULA (1931) Dredd (2012) DRIVE (2011) Drive Angry (2011) End of Watch (2012) EQUINOX (1970) Escape From New York (1981) Evil Dead (2013) THE EXORCIST (1973) Eyes Without A Face (1960) FACE-OFF (1997) Fast Five A tumblr_n2u9s565B11rscnczo1_500 Fist Of Legend (1994) FRANKENSTEIN (1931) GANJA & HESS (1973) the-gauntlet-1977 Get Carter (1971) ghostbusters GHOSTBUSTERS 2 (1989) ghosthouse 1988 GI Joe Retaliation (2013) THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011) GOD TOLD ME TO (1976) GONE GIRL (2014) THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY (1966) The Great Silence (1968) Gremlins 2 - The New Batch (1990) The Grey (2012) Halloween (1978) Hannie Caulder (1971) Hardbodies (1984) Hardware (1990).. Henry (1990) High Crime (1973)  THE HILLS RUN RED (1966) . IMG_8699 THE HIT (1984)Hit Man (1972) hobo with a shotgun HOMEFRONT (2013) The Horror Of Dracula (1958) the host - no words HOUSE (HAUSU) (1977) The Iceman (2013) The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (2009) IN A LONELY PLACE (1950) THE INNOCENTS (1961) THE INSIDER (1999) The Invisible Man (1933) Iron-Man-3-2013 I SAW THE DEVIL (2010) Island-of-Lost-Souls-19331 Jackie Brown (1997) jaws jennifers body  JUAN OF THE DEAD (2011) The Keep (1983) KILLER JOE (2011) The Killers (1966) Killing Them Softly (2012) The-King-of-Comedy-1983 LADY IN CEMENT (1968) LADY TERMINATOR (1989) THE LAST CIRCUS (2010) BERRY GORDY’S THE LAST DRAGON (1985) Lawless (2012) LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962) the-leopard-man-movie-poster-1943-1020199765 Leprechaun (1993) A LIFE LESS ORDINARY (1997) LINK (1986) Liz & Dick (TV, 2012) Lockout (2012) The Lords of Salem (2013) Lost Highway THE MAGIC BLADE (1976) MAN OF STEEL (2013) THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO LITTLE (1997) The Man with the Iron Fists (2012) Maniac Cop (1988) THE MANITOU (1978) MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE (1976) men-in-war-1957 MIGHTY PEKING MAN (1977) MILANO CALIBRO 9 (1972) MULHOLLAND DR. (2001) MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D (2009) My_Darling_Clementine_1946 NakedSpur-1953-MGM-one navajo-joe-1966 NEAR DARK (1987) NEON MANIACS (1986) night of the comet NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986) THE NIGHT OF THE HUNTER (1955) Night of the Living Dead (1968) NOSFERATU (1922) NOTORIOUS (2009) OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN (1983) ONLY GOD FORGIVES (2013) OUT OF THE PAST (1947) PACIFIC RIM (2013) pet-sematary-1989 Phenomena (1985) POOTIE TANG (2001) POSSESSION (1981) PREDATOR (1987) Premium Rush (2012) PRIVATE SCHOOL (1983) PULP FICTION (1994) Pursued (1947) q-the-winged-serpent-movie-poster-1983-1020195479 quick-change-poster BERANDAL (2014) RAVENOUS (1999) RAW FORCE (1982) Raw Meat (1972) RE-ANIMATOR (1985) Rear Window (1954) RED RIVER (1948) RED ROCK WEST (1992) Relentless (1989) RIDDICK (2013) tumblr_njo3upN5tn1sy67obo1_540 the road  ROBOCOP (1987) ROBOCOP (2014) SCANNERS  Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) SCROOGED (1988) Shaft (1971) Sheba, Baby (1975) SHOCK WAVES (1977) shogun_assassin SORCERER (1977) source-code Spring Breakers (2013) SQUIRM (1976) STARSHIP-TROOPERS-1997 story of ricky  STREET TRASH (1987) Streets-Of-Fire-1984 THE STUNT MAN (1980) SUDDEN IMPACT (1983) Super (2011) SUSPIRIA (1977) switchblade_sisters_poster_02 (1) TAXI DRIVER (1976) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) THE THING (1982) THIS IS THE END (2013) thriller TORQUE (2004) touch of evil The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) TREMORS (1990) TRICK ‘R TREAT (2007) THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE (1972) THE UNKNOWN (1927) Under The Dome VAMPIRE’S KISS (1988) VERTIGO-1958-649x1024 Vigilante (1983) vigilante force THE VISITOR (1979) WHICH WAY IS UP (1977) WHITE HUNTER  WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL THE WICKER MAN (1973) winters-bone WITCHBOARD (1986) worlds-greatest-dad-2009 ZODIAC (2007) ZOMBI 2 (1979) ZOMBIELAND (2009)

Make Daily Grindhouse your daily destination for genre movie news, reviews, and interviews — there’s a ton of truly great content over there, beyond just the parts with my name on ’em.

And follow me on Twitter for updates!: @jonnyabomb

This collection has been much-requested and a long time coming.  To get at the reviews, just click on the movie poster of your choice.  And be sure to bookmark this page, because it’s bound to get updated frequently!

         Age Of The Dragons (2011) Alex Cross (2012)          Assault On Precinct 13 (1976)      A Band Called Death (2013)  The Bay (2012) The Baytown Outlaws (2013).        Big Fan (2009) The Big Gundown (1966)    Black Death (2010)          The Brides Of Dracula (1960) Bring it On (2000) Brothers (2009)               Cloud Atlas (2012)   Conan The Barbarian (1982) Conquest (1983)    CREEP (2004)  

The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012)       Days of Thunder (1990)         Django Unchained (2012)           EQUINOX (1970) Escape from New York (1981) Evil Dead (2013)         Fist Of Legend (1994) Flight (2012)       The Gauntlet (1977) Get Carter (1971)    gi_joe_retaliation_ver30 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (US, 2011).          The Grey (2012) Halloween (1978)       Hardbodies (1984) Hardware (1990)   The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)    Hit Man (1972)          The Iceman (2013)     THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS (1978).   THE INSIDER (1999)  The Invisible Man (1933)  Iron Man 3 (2013) Island Of Lost Souls (1933)      The Keep (1983)   Killer Joe (2012) The Killers (1966) Killing Them Softly (2012)          LadyTerminator                Lincoln (2012)   The Lords of Salem (2013)      The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) Manborg Maniac Cop (1988)  THE MANITOU (1978)  MEN IN WAR (1957)      MULHOLLAND DR. (2001)     NEAR DARK (1987)      Night of the Living Dead (1968)          Peeples (2013) A Perfect World (1993)      PLAY MISTY FOR ME (1971)        THE PROFESSIONALS (1966)      The Raid (2012)       Red Tails (2012) Relentless (1989)    SALT (2010) Bill Hicks Sane Man (1989)   SCROOGED (1988)  Severance (2006) Shaft (1971)       Southern Comfort (1981)    Spring Breakers (2013)  THE SQUID &THE WHALE (2005)  State of Play (2009)              Teddy Bear (2012) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)    This Is The End (2013)   The Tourist (2010)  THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (1976)    TREMORS (1990)  Triangle (2009)       Tyson (2008)       Vigilante (1983)       WATERMELON MAN (1970)          X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Your Highness (2011) ZODIAC (2007)  

For constant news about updates, follow me on Twitter:  @jonnyabomb

And we’re back!  Ready for round two.  Inspired again by my friend-in-movies at Rupert Pupkin Speaks, I’m re-presenting and reshuffling my top fifty movies of all time.  “Reshuffling” sounds a little more extreme than what I’ve done here — most of the titles remain the same, and the order isn’t much different.  But there’s a fair amount of new blood, and I’ve updated the links to any movies I’ve written about at length (those are bolded in red.) 

This list is absolutely subject to change, so keep watching this space, but while you’re at it, don’t forget to keep watching the skies.

1. THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE UGLY (1966).

2. GHOSTBUSTERS (1984).

3. DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978).

4.  ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968).

5.  UNFORGIVEN (1992).

6.  KING KONG (1933).

7.  PREDATOR (1987).

8.  MANHUNTER (1986).

9.  BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986).

10.  MOTHER, JUGS & SPEED (1976).

11.  John Carpenter’s THE THING (1982).

12.  HEAT (1995).

13.  FREAKS (1932).

14. JAWS (1975).

15.  Berry Gordy’s THE LAST DRAGON (1985).

16.  THE WILD BUNCH (1969).

17.  SHAFT (1971).

18.  BEVERLY HILLS COP (1984).

19.  THE BIG GUNDOWN (1966).

20.  SEA OF LOVE (1989).

21. RAISING ARIZONA (1987).

22.  EVIL DEAD 2 (1987).

23.  OUT OF SIGHT (1998).

24.  THE INSIDER (1999).

25.  ALLIGATOR (1980).

26.  COLLATERAL (2004).

27.  THE GREAT SILENCE (1968).

28.  AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981).

29.  MY DARLING CLEMENTINE (1946).

30.  CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954).

31. PRIME CUT (1972).

32. WATERMELON MAN (1970).

33.  GROSSE POINTE BLANK (1997).

34.  25th HOUR (2002).

35.  COFFY (1973).

36. QUICK CHANGE (1990).

37.  MAGNOLIA (1999).

38.  HANNIE CAULDER (1971).

39. ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981).

40.  48 HRS. (1982).

41.  GOODFELLAS (1990).

42.  SHOGUN ASSASSIN (1980).

43.  PURPLE RAIN (1984).

44.  THE UNHOLY THREE (1925).

45.  TRUE GRIT (2010).

46.  THE PROFESSIONALS (1966).

47.  VIOLENT CITY aka THE FAMILY (1973).

48.  THE HIT (1984).

49.  EMPEROR OF THE NORTH POLE (1973).

50.  ATTACK THE BLOCK (2011).

50 1/2.  The five-minute skeleton swordfight in JASON & THE ARGONAUTS (1963).

______________________________________________

And that’s that…. for now.

For a little bit more all the time, find me on Twitter:  @jonnyabomb

 

48 Hrs. is the midnight movie this weekend at IFC Center in New York City.  This movie is important for what it represents in the continuum of American action movies, and surprising as a viewing experience if that first point is all you know about it. Directed by essential action auteur Walter Hill and starring Nick Nolte, 48 Hrs. is most famous for introducing film audiences to the comedic A-bomb that was Eddie Murphy, and as a result revolutionizing the politics of action-comedies.

 

 

 

There were buddy-comedies before 48 Hrs. (for example: Freebie And The Bean), and there were black & white crime-fighting duos before 48 Hrs. (for example: the Hill-scripted Hickey & Boggs), but the violent electricity generated by Nolte and Murphy in 48 Hrs. is what made the genre an American institution.  It’s impossible to imagine now, but in the years before 48 Hrs., Nick Nolte was a leading man, a pretty-boy, reportedly considered for the role of Superman, and Eddie Murphy was absolutely no one.  What you have in this movie is Nolte, cresting forty and heading towards the grizzled character-actor persona that he’s occupied ever since, and Murphy, barely out of his teens, furious, with everything in the world to prove and ready and willing to conquer.  The blond, blue-eyed, middle-American shitkicker and the quick-talking black kid from Brooklyn — the conflict is coded directly into the casting.

 

 

Nolte’s Jack Cates is an embattled detective who is chasing down a pair of cop-killers (James Remar and Sonny Landham).  Needing a lead, he goes to see an imprisoned colleague of one of the criminals, Murphy’s Reggie Hammond.  Jack borrows Reggie away from the penal system for the titular amount of time, and the search begins.  What’s amazing about this plot, and what everyone who hasn’t seen the movie in some time seems to forget, is that this isn’t a comedy plot.  48 Hrs. isn’t a comedy, hardly at all.  It’s a prime-era Walter Hill movie.  It’s a low-down, gritty, ruthless action movie.  The supporting cast includes awesome and fearsome career tough guys, including James Remar (The Warriors), David Patrick Kelly (also The Warriors), Brion James (Blade Runner), Sonny Landham (Predator), and Jonathan Banks (Beverly Hills Cop, more recently Breaking Bad).  Make no mistake, 48 Hrs. is an action movie before and after anything else.  It just happens to feature Eddie Murphy.

 

 

Eddie Murphy was — and still is, somewhere within him — one of the most incendiary comic talents this country has ever seen.  It’s little coincidence that he did such a killer James Brown impression, because he really is the James Brown of comedy.  Just a thorough, unforgettable, timeless talent, and a peerless entertainer right out of the gate.  I mean, I think Eddie only recently turned fifty.  It’s insane to contemplate how young he was when he tore right into the role of Reggie Hammond, singing “Roxanne” by The Police in a jail cell in a hilarious falsetto — one of the more indelible cinematic debuts I could ever name.  Eddie’s every scene lifts the movie into vivid comedy, just by proximity to the supernova of his talent.  In hindsight, that’s why 48 Hrs. is remembered as more of a comedy than it actually is in practice.  Eddie is an absolute firecracker in this movie, completely unintimidated by Nolte’s lurching and barking, giving as good as he gets.  And neither of these guys pulled a single punch — they portrayed two guys who HATE each other.  The dialogue between Jack and Reggie is as vicious as it is funny, and usually more of the former than the latter.  And to this day, their speech is uncompromisingly uncomfortable.  Among plenty of other awful epithets, Jack calls Reggie “nigger”.  To my ear, that’s not enjoyable banter, but it is scarily honest.

 

 

 

That was probably one of Eddie Murphy’s most significant artistic contributions:  As the first comedic superstar of the hip-hop age, he scorched the earth, loudly and with style, and boldly went after the racism that still existed then (and still does today, although just a little bit less as a result of the accomplishments of himself and others).  In 48 Hrs., Eddie Murphy gets the blond, blue-eyed action hero to shout that awful, awful word  — but somehow that’s a weird kind of progress.  Okay, we all heard it, now we know what’s under the blond, blue-eyed surface.  Now it’s out in the open.  Now we can deal with it.  If we don’t acknowledge the sick American shit under the polite veneers, there’ll be no solving it.  Meanwhile, if you’re a little kid watching Eddie in movies, you’re not thinking about any of this specifically.  If you’re a little kid, you just fucking love him.  I know growing up I personally never wanted to be Captain Kirk or Captain America or Luke Skywalker or Han Solo — I wanted to be Axel Foley.  Eddie Murphy brought this rare energy and charismatic anarchy to movies that for all its cultural significance, was also just plain cool.  He was Bugs Bunny come to life.

 

48 HRS.

 

With all that charm, there’s no way that Jack Cates and Reggie Hammond wouldn’t ultimately come to an understanding, a partnership even.  And there’s no way that his performance in 48 Hrs. wouldn’t have made Eddie Murphy a star.

Find me on Twitter: @jonnyabomb

“Nobody knows anything.” — William Goldman.

21 Jump Street, as you probably know by now, is a movie which gives a comedic treatment to the late-1980s Fox television series, which starred a pre-Tim-Burton Johnny Depp, about young police detectives who go undercover as high school students.  The movie was directed by Phil Lord & Chris Miller (who last directed the kids’ movie Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs) , stars Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum as an odd-couple pair of under-achieving cops, and comes with a well-earned R-rating.

The fact that I went to see this movie at all is a triumph of social media.  I had written 21 Jump Street off.  As a kid I’d seen the Fox TV show the movie was based on, and I liked the idea of seeing it flipped as a comedy premise, but I saw all those trailers way too many times, and wasn’t impressed.  Like those posters above, the trailers focused on the easy, tired jokes.  Like this exchange:

“You have the right to remain… an attorney…”

“Did you just say “You have the right to remain an attorney?”

I’m so tired of that modern trend, in movie trailers and on all CBS comedies, where one character says something and another character repeats it in disbelief, as if that automatically makes it funnier.  The trailers also make heavy use of the bit where one character is stabbed and calls it “Awesome!” which isn’t all that funny on its own.  Overall, the whole movie had a kind of unappealing washed-out look which made it look visually stale — and even on the other side of it now, I’d still say that the cinematography by Barry Peterson is hardly the most inspired element of the movie.

But going online in the last two weeks, and seeing a steady trickle of positivity towards the movie turn into a full-on stream, I decided to give 21 Jump Street the courtesy of my ten bucks.

Something weird happened.  All the stuff I didn’t like in the trailers (besides the photography) totally works in the context of the full movie.  That aforementioned exchange of dialogue comes from a scene where police captain Nick Offerman dresses down Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum’s characters, and. rather than the trailer ruining the scene’s best joke as so often happens, that scene has many more (and much better) jokes than the trailer implies.  The best is the one where Nick Offerman, in his brilliant deadpan, familiar to fans of Parks & Recreation, directly addresses all of your potential misgivings about a comedic re-interpretation of a nearly-forgotten Fox TV show.  It’s so blatantly and boldly self-referential that it somehow addresses the issue head-on and manages to be charming in a way that most self-referential jokes aren’t.

That scene from the trailer where Jonah Hill turns around to find a knife embedded in his back and decides it’s “awesome?”  By the time that happens in the movie, you have gotten to know the character, a  sad sack in high school who, when given the chance to go back as an undercover cop, gets to re-live his high school years with some more confidence.  So the knife beat is a character moment, where realizing how much tougher he’s become and bragging about it tells you something about what this guy is thinking, instead of a throw-away gag using violence as a punchline and having no physical consequence.

That’s why this movie is better than so many more in its over-populated genre:  It starts with the characters.  It’s not as if these are the most detailed characters ever written — Jonah Hill, as a high school nerd who gets the chance to hang with the popular kids, and Channing Tatum, as the high school cool guy whose inattention to study made him an underachiever but adequately suited for police work — they’re comedic archetypes, but they’re recognizable.  And they’re given more dimension as the movie goes on.  Their friendship is interesting and believable, the emotional center of the story, and it makes the movie more involving than most studio comedies as a result of it.

I’ve liked Jonah Hill since I first wondered “Who was that weird kid in that scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin?”, but as much as he’s been a deft comic performer right from the get-go, he’s also clearly a smart shepherd of material which suit his talents, having shaped this project with screenwriter Michael Bacall (Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World).  It’s pretty stupid that I saw how good Hill was in Moneyball and still underestimated him to the extent that I allowed a couple bum trailers to make me consider skipping this movie.  I would have missed out.

The script for 21 Jump Street is fun, surprising, and full of jokes — don’t like one? another is right around the corner — and it’s also quite literally a gift to Channing Tatum.  People underestimate Channing Tatum, because he’s man-pretty and comes off as a bit of a meatball, but I’ve never had a problem with the guy.  He’s been good and likable in movies like A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints and Haywire, and if G.I. Joe was terrible, it can’t be blamed on him.  If you click through to that G.I. Joe review you’ll see that I suggested Mark Wahlberg needs to watch his back with this Channing Tatum guy around:  I still think it’s a good comparison — if anything, Channing Tatum seems to have more self-awareness.  As much as I loved The Other Guys, it’s still hard to tell if Wahlberg is fully aware of why he’s so funny.  Channing Tatum, as his recent SNL hosting appearance also shows, has a willingness to play, and when Hill and Bacall’s script to 21 Jump Street serves him up great comedic lobs, he crushes them every time.

Pretty much everybody’s good in the movie:  Ice Cube, erasing a decade of crap to come back just as funny as he was in the first Friday, Three Kings, and Torque; Rob Riggle in a truly weird supporting performance that initially seems to have little point; all the kids in the high school scenes, particularly the very cute Brie Larson (the aforementioned Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World) and the very funny Dave Franco (Fright Night, James’s family reunions) as a shifty drug dealer; right down to the still-surprising-even-if-you-know-he’s-going-to-do-the-cameo superstar actor.  But with all the enjoyable, game performances in the movie, the best part remains the Hill-Tatum double-team (and what the fuck is with me and the tennis metaphors today?) — these two guys have a brainy/brash chemistry that for some reason reminds me of Chase & Aykroyd in Spies Like Us.

Maybe that’s a good analogy:  Spies Like Us is a comparatively lesser John Landis comedy, but not everything can be Animal House or Trading Places.   Most comedies aren’t.  Most comedies can’t touch Spies Like Us, let alone Trading Places.  For me to invoke any of these movies at all means I’m paying 21 Jump Street a big compliment, but in the end it comes down to this:  I laughed plenty.

Go see this movie.  If enough people do, we’ll get a sequel, and once you see it, you’ll agree that, unlike most movies that get sequels these days, this movie has a pair of characters you’d actually like to see again.

Just feel free to skip the trailers.

P.S.  Couldn’t figure out how to fit this comment in the main review, but seriously, the end credits of 21 JUMP STREET are fucking amazing.  I don’t know who to compliment — Lord & Miller, the editorial department, Michael Bacall who clearly is a fellow admirer of the gang at Cinefamily — but really, what a great last blast of energy and absurdity you get hit with, just as you’re getting up to leave.  There’s no Academy Award for Best Opening Or Closing Credits, but that only bolsters my suspicion that the Academy Awards aren’t run by anyone who knows half as much about cinema as whoever put the closing credits sequence of 21 Jump Street.

Follow me on Twitter:  @jonnyabomb

There’s only one reason to post a list like this one at this preposterously late stage in the game, and that’s in the hopes that you might find something on my list which you haven’t seen yet and might like to be persuaded to try.

It’s never easy to distill an entire year’s worth of movies into a manageable list, but that’s not really the reason why I didn’t file one until now.  The real reason is that there are some significant movies I wasn’t able to see in time, and still haven’t been: most notably 50/50,  The Adventures Of Tintin, J.Edgar, A Separation, Shame, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, War Horse, and We Need To Talk About KevinI see a lot of movies on a yearly basis, but even I can’t get to all of them.

Then there are all the prestigious movies you’ve been hearing plenty about lately, which I frankly am not too interested in going out of my way to see but probably could have done, just to be informed.  These include My Week With Marilyn, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Midnight In Paris, The Iron Lady, and The Help.   No offense intended (well, offense intended in a couple of those cases), but again, there’s only so much time in a life.

Last year I made a top twenty.  This year I decided to restrict myself to just ten.  Another reason for the delay.  A little narrowing was required.  If you want to hear what almost made it, we’ll be here all day.  So let’s not.  When selecting these ten, I gave myself one simple guideline:

Which movies am I most likely to revisit?

That immediately eliminated movies like HugoMission Impossible: Ghost  Protocol, and Cave Of Forgotten Dreams, since a great part of what made those viewing experiences special to me was the way they used the 3-D and/or IMAX formats.

And it made things more honest, especially because I’ve already gone back to more than a few of my ten.  Some internet people strive to impress with their lists, but that’s not my style.  This really is the stuff I like the best, not the stuff I need anyone to think I like the best.

I did notice a trend of note here.  This is by far the most international list I have ever made.  Only four out of ten movies here were made in the U.S. of A., and two of those were made by foreign-born directors.  Does this mean that my personal tastes are getting more global?  Or does it mean that the cinema of my native land has been, generally speaking, somewhat lacking of late?  That part is a question maybe to ponder further.  In the meantime, seriously, I’ve dragged this out more than enough:

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My Top Ten Movies Of 2011.

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#10

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The Tree Of Life (USA)

 

What It’s About:

 

An aging man (Sean Penn) reflects back on his imperfect but happy childhood.Why I Love It:  Speaking strictly in terms of the visual, was there a single more beautiful movie in all of 2011?  Yeah?  Could ya name one?  Possibly Hugo, but that was a city-based kind of beauty.  The Tree Of Life, as is so often the case with Terrence Malick’s movies, finds the beauty in the effortless, the pre-existing, the resolutely natural.  And then there were the people.  As good as Brad Pitt was in Moneyball, he’s that much better in this movie.  I’ve always liked the guy in movies but I’ve never seen this level of sophistication in any of his characters before.  He’s playing a complicated person with a lot of internalized feelings, and he’s playing the whole thing from the perspective of another character.  Playing a much more openly and directly positive character, Jessica Chastain is still equally effective.  The kids in the movie are just as excellent — Malick is so often credited (justly) with his capacity to create indelible images that it’s easy to overlook his tendency to elicit terrific performances from pros and neophytes alike.  The Tree Of Life is a thoughtful movie at a time when the culture at large (and even myself, as evidenced by the fact that I’m only ranking this at #10) are yearning for the easy answers.  It’s a movie that lingers in the mind, and I predict it will gain in esteem as time goes on.  Awards-season conversations fade away quickly, but some movies will travel far beyond.  Trust me:  This is the kind of thing I tend to be most right about.  (It also helps to know that all of Terrence Malick’s films have grown in esteem since their original release dates.)

 

Is It On Netflix Instant?:

No.

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  #9

 

Viva Riva! (Congo)

 

What It’s About:

 

In a community where gasoline is a precious commodity, a devil-may-care rogue thief (Patsha Bey Mukuna) rips off a gas shipment from some very bad men, then runs into trouble when he falls for a local gangster’s girlfriend (Manie Malone.)

 

Why I Love It:

 

Because it’s electric.  Before I get to what makes this film so thrilling on a cultural level, let me start out by promising that it’s a solid crime film no matter what part of the world it’s from.  The plot relies on familiar noir tropes — the femme fatale, the murderous nemesis, the doomed hero — but where the story lacks in originality, the film more than makes up for it in atmosphere and intensity.  This is a low-budget movie shot entirely practically in a real community using primarily local talent, which gives the movie an added urgency and veracity.  This isn’t some Road Warrior future where gangs battle over gasoline — this is really happening in the world right now.  Imagine that; imagine the gasoline we Americans so take for granted being the currency that believably powers criminal enterprise in crowded, poverty-stricken villages.  But there’s also a harsh beauty to this movie.  The nightlife in Kinshasa feels vivid and seeped in detail and danger, and the sexuality in this movie has a fierceness and forthrightness rarely seen in European cinema, let alone puritanical America.  If there were rankings based on 2011’s most assertive (and acrobatic) cunnilingus scenes, this movie would have that position licked.  But it’s not just honest sex that makes this film so intriguing.  Viva Riva! serves as the ignition of a nation’s film industry.  On the DVD, director Djo Tunda Wa Munga talks about how he specifically designed the film’s plot to be familiar and genre-based because there aren’t a whole lot of Congolese films out there, and he wanted this one to be as accessible as possible in order to gather the international appetite for more films from the Congo.  With Viva Riva!, we’re seeing an entire film industry start from the ground up, and that’s an exciting thing to watch.

 

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  Yes!

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#8

 

13 Assassins (Japan)

What It’s About:

 

Thirteen samurai assassins are sent to dispose of an insane dictator.  Here be political subtext.

 

Why I Love It:

 

Takashi Miike is one of Japan’s most prolific and provocative directors.  His movies careen from genre to genre, although he is most notorious for unflinching scenes of horrific scenes of torture and extreme violence that thrill his admirers (including Quentin Tarantino) and disturb the squares (or the reasonable).  I can’t claim to be an authority on Miike, but 13 Assassins is surely one of his most masterful orchestrations.   He’s working on a grand scale here, starting with a story that has some basis in history and was dramatized once before, in 1963.  The first three-fifths or so of 13 Assassins is a run-up to the rest — there are brief and terrible outbursts of cruelty that firmly establish the threat that the maniacal noble presents, and make it clear that he needs to be removed.  (Indeed, as an audience we crave it, this guy’s so awful.)  But these violent scenes barely prepare us from what is to come; the majority of the movie is a relatively subdued chamber drama compared to the absolute carnage of the final act, where the titular baker’s dozen engineer a small village to be one large deathtrap for a retinue of two hundred enemies.  It’s difficult to overstate the literal awesomeness of the final battle, even if I were to go into the gory, inventive details, nor the mastery with which Miike conducts it.  If you are a fan of action cinema you simply must see this movie or your opinion doesn’t count.  Does that sound like a mean thing to say?  It’s because this movie quite unsubtly provides a political philosophy that is very compelling: The enemy forces are commanded by an old ally of the leader of the band of thirteen.  The leader is loath to battle his friend, but the guy is just plain on the wrong side of the argument.  He may be a good man carrying out his sworn duty, but he’s acting on behalf of a power-mad rich-kid who rapes and kills on a whim.  In the end, it’s suggested, mercy can be shown to no enemy, even if decent men may stand on the wrong side.  Here in America, with so many backwards arguments still being raised by the party of the privileged and slowing down civil rights, this philosophy is not without implications.

 

Is It On Netflix Instant?: Yes!

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#7

The Last Circus (Spain)
What It’s About:
In 1970s Spain, two circus clowns (Carlos Areces and Antonio de la Torre) go to war over a beautiful acrobat (Carolina Bang).

Why I Love It:

This movie has a scene where one circus clown hires a less-experienced clown to serve as his subordinate.  A clown job interview.  All I ever ask is that a movie show me something I’ve never seen before.  The Last Circus is an overt political and historical allegory, which will fascinate students of the power struggles in Spain throughout the past century, but for those of us with less sophisticated intellectual appetites, the film thrills on just as many cyllinders.  The central trio of performers are perfect in what must have been emotionally demanding roles:  The excellently-named Carolina Bang, as Natalia, “The Acrobat”, is both a pleasure to look at (something like a blond Katy Perry, only much better) and a genuinely impressive dramatic performer, anchoring the film by making its most human moments believable. Antonio de la Torre is both charismatic and terrifying as Sergio, “The Silly Clown”, a bully and an abuser, while Carlos Areces as Javier, “The Sad Clown”, a dead ringer for the comedian John Hodgman, centers and then upends the film as its protagonist turned villain turned tragic figure, a meek clown whose bullying at the hands of Sergio and rejection at the hands of Natalia ultimately turns him into a raving maniac.  Seriously, you have no idea how crazy this movie gets.  It’s like a Moulin Rouge! of violence; colorful, energetic, operatic, histrionic, beautiful, and horrible.  (If you have to, if it gets you to check this out, compare it to the Crank movies, only better and smarter in every way.)  Really, more than anything, The Last Circus reminds me of the mad opera of comic books.  Which makes sense, as filmmaker Alex de la Iglesia has worked as a comic book artist.  I’m not talking about the morose, costume-averse comic-book movies of the last few years.  I mean the deranged, carnival-sideshow feeling of the craziest comic books, which only really Tim Burton has tapped in his two Batman films (and arguably even Joel Schumacher did in his first Batman film.)  It’s that feeling of having a blast of a time as a viewer even as you’re watching the characters on screen living out their worst moments.  There’s a bizarre vicarious release to be had from witnessing such creative, bombastic madness, and as American comic-book action films have lately gotten more self-serious and eager to please everyone, we’ve moved away from that crazy energy.  It’s a shame, but it makes me ravenous to see whatever de la Iglesia comes up with next.

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  Yes!

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#6

 

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (USA)

 

What It’s About:

 

The life and rise to power of a tyrannical chimpanzee.

 

Why I Love It:

 

Did you read that synopsis?  It’s literally astounding.  No offense, but Twentieth Century Fox, as a studio, is responsible for some of the most ponderous and frankly misguided films of the past decade — there was no reason to expect they’d get this so right.  Honestly, they (by hiring and empowering writers Rick Jaffa & Amanda Silver and director Rupert Wyatt) got this movie better than right.  I’m a big fan of the original Planet Of The Apes but I wouldn’t have had much interest in seeing it remade (as evidenced by the actual remake from 2001, a great example of what I was referring to earlier as “ponderous and misguided”).  This new movie is so much more interesting than a paint-by-numbers remake or a so-called re-envisioning.  It’s even more interesting than the movie I thought I wanted.  It’s the most realistic version we could ever expect to see of what would happen if a super-smart chimp decided he was mad as hell and didn’t want to take it anymore.  Having recently seen the astonishing, similarly-themed documentary Project Nim, I’m all the more enamored of Rise Of Planet Of The Apes.  It’s true speculative fiction, legitimate science-fiction, and truly affecting.  The humans in the story are by far the less interesting — I have plenty of affection for James Franco and Freida Pinto as performers, but they are strictly supporting characters to Caesar (in a phenomenal, ground-breaking performance by Andy Serkis).  Even John Lithgow plays it muted, no doubt being practiced in playing second fiddle to a man in an ape costume from his experience on Harry & The Hendersons.   Caesar is the star of the show, and one of the best characters of any movie in 2011.  I just can’t get over the fact that this is a huge-budgeted studio film which is essentially a character study of a chimpanzee.  That’s a minor miracle.  I mean, seriously folks: It’s the primate version of Scarface.  What on any planet would I not love about that?

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  No.

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 #5

 

Black Death (Germany/UK)

What It’s About:

A young monk (Eddie Redmayne) is recruited by a monomaniacal knight (Sean Bean) to go find and kill a rumored witch who is said to be able to raise the dead.

Why I Love It:

Because this is a terrific example of a cinematic rope-a-dope — you think it’s going to be one thing, and then it proves to be quite another.  I love it when a movie confounds my expectations that way, and I love it even better when the end result is this satisfying.  Black Death is by far the most underrated and under-seen film to appear in theaters all year.  It’s excellent all around — believable, wonderfully-acted, impeccably production-designed, and terrifically-written.  It does start out to seem like more of an epic and turns out to be far more modest, but I think that even works in its favor — the smaller scale makes it more intense and effective.  I’ve already written plenty about this overlooked gem, and I hope you get a chance to read that here, but even more than that, I’d be glad if you got the chance to please give the movie a look.  It’s worth your time.

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  Yes!

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 #4

Beginners (USA)

What It’s About:

A graphic designer (Ewan McGregor) beginning a new relationship copes with the legacy of his charismatic father (Christopher Plummer), who came out of the closet at the age of 75 before dying of cancer a few years later.

Why I Love It:

I’m attracted to movies (and people) that are honest and genuine.  Too many movies (and people) are either soulless or putting up a front to impress.  Beginners is one from the heart, an evident labor of love by its writer-director Mike Mills and his crew, and just as important, it’s a well-made movie.  The Christopher Plummer performance has gotten the most attention, and rightly, as it’s the engine that drives the movie, but that’s not all Beginners has to offer.  Look, you don’t have to dig too deep on this website to read me praising Christopher Plummer, but let’s not overlook Ewan McGregor’s inward performance as his much-less emotionally demonstrative son, Melanie Laurent as the lively woman who begins to draw him out, Goran Visnic as Plummer’s character’s dense but loving widow, and yes, Cosmo the dog in the best animal performance of the year.  And most of all, let’s not overlook Mike Mills’ storytelling achievement in creating one of the realest, most relatable movies of the past few years, let alone 2011:  I can’t exactly relate to the gay-dad story, but you’d better believe I understand McGregor’s character and his tentative attempts at a relationship with Melanie Laurent’s.  This is real life, this is real love — just a little more entertaining and uplifting.  My full-on piece on Beginners can be read here, but let me put it simply and directly:  You see that tagline on the poster?  “This is what love feels like.”  That’s not an inexact description of what this movie manages to achieve.

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  No.

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#3

 

The Guard (Ireland)

What It’s About:

An American FBI agent (Don Cheadle) teams up with an extremely unconventional local cop (Brendan Gleeson) to catch some drug traffickers who have come to a small Irish town.Why I Love It:  Well, I really love it.  I’ve already rewatched The Guard three times since I first saw it theatricallyin September.  Like Beginners, I knew right away that this movie would make this year-end list.  If nothing else, Brendan Gleeson as Gerry Boyle is the single best fucking character out of any movie in 2011.  Gerry Boyle is profane, funny, iconoclastic, bull-headed, clever, moronic, sly, sarcastic, perverse, horny, devoted, noble, and really fucking profane.  At one point during The Guard, Don Cheadle’s frustrated FBI agent Wendell Everett tells Boyle, who has just frustrated him for the fiftieth time in the first day of them knowing each other, “I can’t tell if you’re really motherfucking dumb, or really motherfucking smart.”  It’s a good question, so on-the-nose it’s repeated later in the movie.  It’s pretty much the central question driving the movie.  It’s a blast to watch Cheadle puzzle it out, and even more fun to watch Gleeson confound everyone he encounters.  We first meet Gerry Boyle as he’s patrolling the comatose Galway countryside, coming across the wreckage of a recently-totalled fast car containing dead club kids who just had their last all-night rager.  Boyle dutifully inspects the bodies, comes up with a tab of ecstasy, and with a shrug, pops the pill into his mouth.  He then moves onto a crime scene to investigate a dead body, this one no accident, which turns out to be the handiwork of a trio of drug traffickers, played by the world-class character actors Liam Cunningham and Mark Strong and the lesser-known but equally memorable David Wilmot.  This trio is an entertaining enough bunch on their own, as is every single supporting character in the movie really (my current favorite being Dominique McElligott as an embattled escort with a sense of humor), but they’re all ultimately playing the straight men to Gleeson’s Gerry Boyle.  I can’t say it the fuck enough:  This is one of the craftiest performances of the year, in the role of the year.  Everything about The Guard is good fun, but if you’re not keeping your eyes on this guy, you’re missing the fecking point, ye idjit.

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  No.

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 #2

Drive (USA)

What It’s About:

A stuntman who works nights as a getaway driver (Ryan Gosling) gets wrapped up in a robbery gone wrong.

Why I Love It:

I hinted around this point in my review, but let me just spell it out:  The main character in this movie prefers not to talk if he can help it.  He’s pretty good at what he does, yet fallible at major make-or-break moments.  He’s got his own sense of style.  He’s loyal to his friends, he’s good with kids, he’s got a soft touch with the ladies — well, some but not all.  He’s cool, but not as cool as he thinks (a toothpick? really?)  In other words:  It’s very possible that it would scare you to know how similar this character is to your humble narrator here.  For better or worse, like no other movie in 2011 I related to Drive from the center of my being.  The great thing about Drive is that you don’t have to be me to relate into this movie.  The movie is built to work that way for anyone.  In fact, I could just be projecting.  It’s a broad-strokes movie, only tangentially willing to delve into character.  The novel by James Sallis has extensive backstories for every character, but the movie only gives you a little.  It instead foregoes story for mood and atmosphere.  Like a song. Just like a song.  And the best pop songs are the universal ones.  If you can get into Drive‘s particular rhythms, it’s impossible not to go with them.  There are people who shit-talked Drive, sure.  They’re the same people who shit-talked The Tree Of Life.  They’re the same people who think The Artist is a realistic candidate for the title of 2011’s Best Picture.  They don’t actually understand art when they’re looking at it.  But while The Tree Of Life is fine art, built for history, Drive is pop art, built for the moment.  You can come back to it, as many times as you like, and for the temporary moment you’re watching it — like the greatest pop art — it can make you feel like the hero of your own movie.  Or, at least it can give you a glimpse into the mind into the kind of guy who does.

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  No.

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 #1

 

Click to read my original review!

 

Attack The Block (UK)

What It’s About:

A swarm of carnivorous aliens land near a tenement building ruled by a gang of juvenile delinquents.

Why I Love It:

Because when I walked out of the theater onto the city streets after the first time I saw Attack The Block, I was on a dizzy movie-high, and I’ve felt almost that good after each successive viewing.  Attack The Block is funny, scary, exciting, smart, and occasionally even touching.  It has its social context if you want to think about that kind of thing (and at some point you should), but first and foremost this movie has come to entertain you, and there was no movie I saw in 2011 that was better suited to that task.  I’ve been pondering myself, and talking over with some savvy friends, why Attack The Block didn’t catch on the way I hoped.  Maybe people like me, who got to see it early and tried to fan the flames of interest, overdid it, and set up expectations no movie could meet.  Maybe it was the British accents.  Maybe you were more amenable if you grew up on hip-hop culture.  Maybe you were more amenable if you had a working knowledge of British hip-hop culture.  Maybe American audiences are too attuned to the over-edited, under-developed style of cruddy American action movies.  Maybe Attack The Block was just too good.  Maybe it’s an instant cult movie, like Carpenter’s The Thing not appreciated in its own time but lying in wait for its eventual audience to find it.  Or maybe it’s the fact that the movie’s heroes are a bunch of black kids and a white woman.  That’s still a hard sell in America.  But there’s that social context I was alluding to before.  That’s no fun.  This movie is fun.  It’s stuffed with jokes and thrills.  For monster freaks like me, it has one of the most ingenious alien designs of any movie I’ve seen in the past decade.  It has a terrific score, energetic performances, an instantaneous movie star in lead actor John Boyega (already cast by Spike Lee in an upcoming project), a smarter script (by director Joe Cornish) than it’s likely to be credited for, a great sense of momentum, and the single best ending of any movie I saw in 2011.  There are plenty of sci-fi movies with hundreds of times more budget, but it doesn’t make them any better.  Attack The Block is a simple, direct, eminently effective entertainment machine.  Did I oversell it?  Probably.  But I just had that great a time.  Attack The Block was 2011’s best party.  Sorry some of you couldn’t make it.

Is It On Netflix Instant?:  No.  But it’s on steady rotation at my place.  Attack The Block Party, anyone?

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Find me on Twitter!: @jonnyabomb

Continuing my list of favorite movies from the last decade, here’s

#2.  25th Hour (2002)

This is a movie that warrants an entire essay.  One day, I’ll give it one.  In the meanwhile, my abbreviated commentary will have to do.

Personally, I’m a filmgoer who tends to generally agree with what the mainstream defines as “a great film” (Casablanca, The Godfather, Do The Right Thing), though I tend to love championing the lesser-acknowledged works that I believe to have greatness in them, and I’m more forgiving of flaws than most serious writers and thinkers seem to be.

25th Hour is a film that plenty of very smart people I know absolutely despise but which I absolutely adore, even despite what I concede are some fairly obvious flaws.  (I felt a little validated to see it place highly on some respectable lists, including the top 50 by The Onion A.V. Club.)

As so many of Spike Lee’s films do (I’m a fan but I understand the critique), 25th Hour admittedly lays it on thick at times, and the scene where two men have a debate with a window view of Ground Zero looming large in the background and the soundtrack blaring over it is inexcusably distracting – Spike’s objective with this directorial choice is a valid one (every other movie of that time pussied out by digitally erasing the Twin Towers or avoiding the subject altogether and he wanted to confront it head-on), but the fact remains that it does derail the actual narrative.  The scene becomes about something else than the more story-centric conversation the two men are having.

But so much else about 25th Hour is so good – the observant, emotionally detailed, quintessentially New York script by David Benioff (which was his much-deserved ticket to a high-roller decade in Hollywood which continues today as he produces Game Of Thrones for HBO), the vibrant, scrappy cinematography by Rodrigo Prieto (the best DP of the decade, who also gave us Amores Perros, 21 Grams, and Babel), and one of the hands-down greatest New York scores ever written by Spike’s longtime composer Terence Blanchard.  Really, this music breaks my heart every time.  It’s perfectly deployed in the movie (aside from that unfortunate Ground Zero scene), and it’s the perfect soundtrack to reside in your iPod as you walk the city streets in real life.

The cast of 25th Hour is one of the greatest ensembles assembled in the decade – Edward Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman, the brilliant & underused Barry Pepper, Brian Cox, The Wire‘s Isiah Whitlock, Rosario Dawson, the guy who plays the Russian gangster, even Tony Siragusa is a snug fit – I only wish that the late Brittany Murphy had been cast over Anna Paquin (as was originally intended), but otherwise, top to bottom, this is an impeccable match of actor to role.  Barry Pepper, in particular, impresses by conjuring a very specific kind of loyal but flawed New York asshole.  Rosario Dawson is from New York.  Barry Pepper isn’t.  Damned if you’d know it from watching the movie!

The result of all of the above is a movie that, as a New Yorker, I relate to in my soul.  I wonder, if it was a so-called perfect film, would I respond to it as strongly?  The last line of the movie, so resonant for so many reasons, still echoes in my mind.

“This all came so close to never happening.”

And a few of Rosario Dawson, just to lighten the mood…

Full disclosure time.  I think a person’s home movie collection says plenty about their interests as a moviegoer.  Since I talk about movies all the time, I imagine this would be relevant evidence.  Here’s what is on my shelf at home so far…

151773_front 12 Monkeys (1995) 2 guns 21 Jump Street (2012)  25th hour  4Got10 (2015) alltheboyslovemandylane americanmary an american werewolf in london  anchorman ANDROID COP (2014) 81542_large Army of Darkness (1992) 148306_large Assassin15BR  ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13  TheAvengers Age of Ultron (2015) Barquero (1970) Battle-of-the-Damned BattleRoyale   BeingJohnMalkovich 102857_large biggundown   blackhat  Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw (1976)  Branded to Kill (1967) The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)  Bronson (2008) brood bullet Bullet To The Head (2012)  calvary    Cat in the Brain 128684_large CHEAP THRILLS (2013) childrenofmen Citadel cloudatlas Coffy (1973) Cold in July (2014)  Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)   CurseOfChucky Dark Angel (1990) Dawn Of The Dead (1978) dawnoftheplanetoftheapes Day of Anger (1967) deadly eyes dearwhitepeople Death Spa (1989) demons2    Django djangokill DjangoUnchained Don't Go In the Woods Doomsday (2008)  Do The Right Thing Dr. Strangelove Dracula Drácula [Version in Spanish] (1931) dredd Dressed to Kill (1980)   thedrop drugwar drum1976 Edwood Escape from the Bronx (1983)    Executive Decision Ex3000  faceoff Face to Face (1967)   firestorm Fisher King  Flesh + Blood (1985) The Fog (1980) Foxy Brown [Blu-ray] FRANKENHOOKER Frankenstein (1931) friendsofeddiecoyle  127162_large  ghoulies  godzilla2014 gonegirl   Goodfellas (1990) grandduelkeoma  Grindhouse (2007)   81we3ca412l-_sl1500_ halloweenHannie Caulder The Harvest (2013)   Spike-Lee-Joint-Collection-1 he got game Here Comes the Devil (2012)  The Honeymoon Killers (1969) 120560_large TheImaginariumOfDoctorParnassus    insider Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion (1970) The Invisible Man (1933)  Jackie Brown  johndiesattheend johnwick John Wick Chapter 2 JOURNEY TO THE WEST: CONQUERING THE DEMONS (2013) judex KillerJoe The Killers  Killing Them Softly (2012) KingOfComedy Killer Workout (1987)   knightriders  The Complete Lady Snowblood (1973-1974) The Last Circus (2010)  longweekend  madman madmax Mad Max. Fury Road (2015)  Manhunter MANIAC COP 2 Man, Pride and Vengeance manos TheMaster medium cool Mercenaries miami blues Miami Connection (1987)   monkey shines MS. 45 (1981) mud Mulholland Drive (2001) Multiple Maniacs The Mummy (1932) mydarlingclementine 156397_large nice_guys Night of the Comet (1984) nightofthecreeps ninja3 Ninja Busters (1984)     onlygodforgives    PACIFIC RIM (2013)  Phantom of the Opera (1943) Phenomena 74133_large  158521_large  Prince of Darkness (1987) professionals  42653_large  Q. raidredemption  104453_large reanimator repoman riot in cell block 11 Rise_of_the_Planet_of_the_Apes_2011 Roar (1981)  rustandbone Sam Whiskey 111066_large Scanners Blu-Ray seaoflove selma    shallowgrave Shark Lake (Blu-ray) Sharky'sMachine 143738_large  theshooting slaughter blu-ray  smashed  Smokin' Aces SORCERER (1977) spellbinder spring stagefright  128698_large Street Trash (1987) sugarhill Spike-Lee-collection-vol-2 tangoandcash  tenebrae-blu-ray-03 The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) ThereWillBeBlood TheyLive THIEF  141245_large To Live And Die In L.A. (1985) TopFive Trainspotting T2 Trainspotting trance   Universal Classic Monsters. The Essential Collection (1931-1954) universalsoldier   Vice Principals awalkamongthetombstones werewolfwoman What We Do in the Shadows whitebuffalo    The Wolf Man (1941)  Wolf Warrior (2015) zodiac

Feel free to judge!

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four christmases

I had all kinds of nice things to say about director Seth Gordon’s breakthrough movie, the documentary The King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters, one of the great documentaries of recent vintage.  I have less enthusiasm about his follow-up, the much more scripted Four Christmases. It’s not even that I disliked it in any way.  I just had been conditioned to expect transcendent things from this director, and what this latter movie provides is more like growing pains.

Four Christmases is about a young couple with commitment issues who are both products of divorces (both sets of parents have since remarried), and on one particular Christmas they decide to see all four families over the course of one holiday. It’s one of those too-high-concept-to-be-anything-resembling-real-human-behavior high concepts, but I still like the idea, honestly.  Another thing that helps is that Gordon and his producers were able to stack the casting bench deep with great supporting players, but even that is a be-careful-what-you-wish-for embarrassment of riches.

Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn play the central couple, and while this is a promising comedic tandem on paper, it’s a bit problematic as it plays. When the couple discusses the prospect of children, it’s alarming to consider the mental image of humongous, high-foreheaded Vince Vaughn astride poor sweet little Reese Witherspoon. It just seems like an unsafe coupling, like a Yeti trying to mount a Pekinese.

This movie also serves as Exhibit A that Vince Vaughn’s comedic talents aren’t well suited to the PG-13 rating (as if anyone’s truly are.) PG-13 comedies feel neutered from the outset, where “Friggin'” and “Freakin'” are the exhortations of the frustrated, and canine flatulence is as transgressive as it gets. Vince Vaughn’s greatest hits reel would heavily feature Swingers, Made, Old School, Anchorman, and Wedding Crashers, movies where his brash brand of vocal diarrhea isn’t impeded by invisible arbiters of so-called morality.  At this point, I just can’t buy a scenario where Vince Vaughn spends the weekend with four pairs of parents, two of them made up of in-laws, and due to the mandate of the MPAA he only gets to drop one F-bomb the entire time (and maybe not even then, if someone else beat him to it.)

I’m not saying that PG-13 comedy is always toothless, but I am unhappily suggesting that this one kinda is. The comedy in Four Christmases is muted and generic, full of jokes about baby puke and MMA fighting — it’s comedy for people who listen to popular country. It’s a movie for airplanes, when with a cast and a director like this, it could have been much more memorable.

The main reason for this, ironically, is probably the premise.  By definition, the two main characters have to visit four separate families in a movie that only runs an hour and a half. The movie, then, can’t help but feel as rushed as they are. There’s never enough time for the supporting characters to develop in any significant way: it’s just a quick visit, an over-the-top slapstick incident, an embarassment, an apology, and then on to the next one. The segmented structure is all the more conspicuous when the cast features familiar, beloved faces such as Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Mary Steenburgen, and Jon Favreau, and Jon Voight. It’s like this movie was made for commercial breaks.

So the natural home for Four Christmases, sadly, has proved to be the small screen, in syndication, where its already-brief running time can be truncated and its already-inoffensive humor can be further hacked away by network censors.

I will say this though, I’ll still catch it when it’s on. It’s comfortable. Also, there’s another reason, and I’m not a theater fan so I wasn’t familiar beforehand, but this Kristin Chenoweth you theater fans like so much…

 

I want to put my private parts there!